If I Didn't Care
by SkylarEQuinn
Summary: InkVerse WWII Human AU. Lukas Bondevik was always sure of himself until the day he and his friend Mathias Køhler joined the British military together. He began flying in a war he wasn't even sure he wanted to be in. When involved in a nearly fatal accident, he loses six years of his memory. Yet why does he remember that song?
1. Chapter 1

_Late September, 1943, Stockholm, Sweden_

"Nice flight today, Bondevik!" Mathias Køhler greeted in English as the fighter pilots in training came back to the base after a test flight. The Dane's smile could barely fit on his face as he smiled at his Norwegian friend.

Lukas Bondevik sighed. "You're so loud," he complained back in English as well as he walked past Mathias. He tried to make a habit of speaking English since his goal was to make it to the British military after this.

Mathias followed after him. "How can you stand heights anyway? Isn't it more natural to stay on the ground?"

Lukas scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Says one of the tallest guys in the base," he grumbled to himself. He narrowed his eyes as he began to walk toward the fighter pilot barracks. "Can you stop following me?"

Mathias stopped in his tracks. "What's your problem today?" he asked, confused. He never understood Lukas. Some days he was nice and fun to be around, and other days he had the personality of a wet biscuit. Today was a day of the latter variety.

Lukas sighed. "My family was evicted from the place they were staying, if you really must know," he huffed leaning heavily against the wall. "Mother's job isn't paying well, and it's really not a good time for that to be happening to them. What will happen to Emil? He was just beginning to adjust, and he's just so difficult when it comes to change anyway!"

"Hey, calm down," Mathias said. "Breathe, Lukas. I'm sure there's a place for them. If anything, I know a place they can stay for free."

Lukas narrowed his eyes at Mathias curiously. "What's the catch?" he suspiciously asked.

"What do you mean by that?" Mathias asked, trying to hold back his shock at his friend's question. "Why would you think there was a catch to that?"

"There's always a catch when it comes to you, Mat! That's why!" Lukas stabbed a slender finger into Mathias's toned chest. "And I know you'll demand proof, so I'll give you proof! That time you offered me some advice on getting rid of my nervousness 'for free'? Remember what the cost of that was? I'll remind you!" He jabbed his finger into Mathias's chest once more. "I had to do your chores here at the base for three days! I'm not going to subject my mother and little brother to your stupid slave labor, Mathias! It's not going to happen!"

Lukas began to storm toward the door, but Mathias beat him to it and leaned against it, a playful smirk resting dangerously on his lips. The Norwegian scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at him as if daring him to either move or keep standing there. Either way, it seemed as if it would end badly for Mathias.

"Lukas, why do you think I only want bad things for people?" Mathias asked, the smile still playing on his lips.

"Because of that stupid, fucking smile of yours!" Lukas answered, angrily pointing at Mathias's lips. His glare hardened. "I hate it because I know you probably grew up using it at home to get your way!"

Mathias's smile grew wider. "And what would you know about how I grew up?" he asked, amused. "You know nothing about my childhood or how I was raised, Bondevik. You don't even know how raised me or if I have any siblings."

"You're obviously an only child," Lukas scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"But was I raised as one?" Mathias asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"That doesn't even make sense," Lukas sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose in frustration. "What did you mean by that?"

"I was raised by my aunt," Mathias answered. "She has a son four years younger than I am, and four years ago she took in a Finnish boy who is a year younger than her son. My aunt, bless her heart, will take in anyone in need because she is a fucking saint."

"So that's what you meant," Lukas mused. "How about I check it out first?" He eyed Mathias for a moment. "Just to be sure that you're telling the truth."

"My beautiful, amazing Aunt Sigrid is the _last_ thing I would ever _dream_ of lying about!" Mathias quickly insisted. "She is like an angel, Lukas Bondevik! An _angel_ , I tell you!"

"I get it," Lukas said. "She's an angel." He sighed. "Look, how soon will I be able to check it out? My mother and little brother need a place to live as soon as possible!"

"Are you done with training?" Mathias asked.

Lukas gestured to himself. "Does it look like I'm in a fucking plane, Mathias?" he irritably demanded. "Just give me a moment to put my civilian clothes on." He stared at the tall Danish man for a moment. "Can you move? Please? I need to change."

Mathias slowly moved to the side. "Since you asked nicely…"

Lukas scowled at him and pushed past him, heading toward his bunk in the barracks to change. If Mathias was telling the truth about his aunt, then maybe his family would be okay. Maybe his mother wouldn't have to work like crazy and have to afford rent _and_ child care for a five-year-old. He just hoped he could find all of this before the day was out and maybe have her moved before it was too dark.

.

Lukas found himself at a small house with Mathias. He was beginning to question why he had followed through with that dumb Dane's shenanigans, but he had nothing to lose, really. If there was a possibility that his mother and brother could stay here, then he would come check it out.

Mathias just opened the door and walked in. " _Moster Sigrid?_ " he asked in Swedish, walking in. " _Tala engelska! Vi har en gäst! Han är en vän till mig!_ "

A slender woman with graying hair and glasses walked into the room. She was wearing a robe over a dress that was covered in many patches. "Hello," she greeted, smiling at Lukas. She didn't look much older than Lukas's own mother, which made Lukas wonder how old she really was. "I am Sigrid Oxenstierna, Mathias's aunt. What is your name?"

"My name is Lukas Bondevik," he answered. "I'm training to be a fighter pilot. I have come to request a favor."

"I am all ears, Lukas," Sigrid said, seating herself on the living room couch and gesturing for him to have a seat as well. "What is your request, dear?"

"My mother and brother are here with me from Norway while I do my training," Lukas began. "They are very poor and have no place to stay. You see, my mother, Elsa, is very sickly and weak, and my brother, Emil, is only five, so he is unable to work."

Sigrid put a hand up to stop him. "Say no more, Lukas. They are welcome to stay in Mathias's old room here. How soon would they be moving in?"

"That is the catch, ma'am," Lukas began. "They were just kicked out of their other place today, so I was hoping for as soon as possible."

"What are you doing here, Lukas?" Sigrid kindly asked. "I will make dinner, and you two go and get their things and move them. How many people will you need? We have two more men to help if needed. Berwald! Tino!"

A blond man stood in the doorway of the living room moments later, a permanent scowl seemingly plastered to his face. His seafoam green eyes stared at Lukas through wire-rimmed glasses as he seemed to size up the shorter, Norwegian man.

Beside him was a shorter man who was slightly more plump and happy-looking. He had wide, violet eyes that were slightly hidden by light blond bangs. His smile brightened up the room as he looked up at the bespectacled one. He seemed like the complete opposite of the man next to him, yet they both seemed to compliment the other very well.

Mathias scoffed. "Look, I appreciate Berwald and Tino coming along, but Berwald might scare the poor landlord or even Lukas's brother, and Tino might…I don't even know what Tino might do. You know he's the tiny, dangerous one."

Judging by what Mathias had said, Lukas quickly guessed which one was Berwald and which one was Tino. Tino was obviously the little plump one, and Berwald was the bespectacled one. Lukas observed the way the two interacted with each other. Though they seemed so different from each other, they were both so soft-spoken and gentle with each other that Lukas couldn't help but almost smile.

" _Tino är du säker på att du vill gå?_ " Berwald asked, looking down at Tino.

Tino puffed up his cheeks at Berwald as he turned to face him. " _Jag är inte så hjälplös som jag brukade vara. Dessutom är det bara bära saker, eller hur?_ "

Lukas was anxious to go. He wanted to make sure they could move his mother and brother before it was too dark outside. Emil was scared of the dark, and he didn't want to take a frightened child through it.

"So are we ready?" Mathias asked, looking to Tino and Berwald, who nodded. Mathias turned to Lukas. "They don't speak much English, so I apologize in advance. I mean, Berry speaks some, but Tino only knows a few words."

Lukas nodded. "Okay. But we should probably go. I don't want to have to take my baby brother through the dark. He's scared of it."

"What's this? Lukas Bondevik actually cares about someone other than himself?" Mathias teased as they all began to head down the lane.

"Shut up," the Norwegian grumbled. "My mother and my brother mean the world to me. That's the only reason I was willing to even beg your aunt if I had to."

Mathias smiled. "It's like I'm seeing a new part of you. This is pretty interesting."

"I will punch you," Lukas warned. "Don't tempt me, Mathias."

The Dane's smile turned to a smirk. "You know, I always figured there was something you cared about."

"Stop it," Lukas said, his voice low and threatening. He almost turned around when he heard Tino giggled behind him. What the hell was he giggling about?! This was serious! Lukas grabbed Mathias by his collar and pulled him down to his level as they walked. "What is that kid giggling about behind us?" he hissed in Mathias's ear.

"First off, that _kid_ is twenty," Mathias began, but stopped when he heard Lukas's impatient growl. "Anyway, they're not used to seeing me being threatened or bullied, so they think it's funny. Especially when it's coming from someone like you."

Lukas shoved Mathias away. "What do you mean by 'someone like me'?!" he demanded.

Mathias grinned. "For starters, you're a lot smaller and thinner than me," he began. "I mean, you're probably at least eight centimeters shorter than me, give or take. And I'm pretty sure I'm a lot more muscular and weigh more than you."

Lukas huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Just stop talking," he grumbled as they walked. "You're annoying me."

Berwald and Tino's snickering became more noticeable behind them. It began to bug at Lukas. Was it really that funny watching him and Mathias talk? Were they really that funny? Did it amuse the two that much? It started to make Lukas wonder what the guys back at the base thought of them. It almost made him uncomfortable.

"Hey, are you okay?" Mathias asked after a moment. "You look a little pale. Do you need to sit down for a minute?"

"I'm fine," Lukas grumbled as he remained walking. "Besides, we're not too far from where my mom and brother are. The sooner we get to them, the sooner we can get them to your aunt's house. I won't be able to relax until I know they're safe and in good hands, Mathias."

Lukas's mind went to his mother. She had looked so sickly and thin the last time he saw her, yet she had insisted that she was doing just fine. Her cough had told him otherwise, and so had his brother. Her hair, which had been so beautifully blonde was now dull and graying. Her eyes that were once a dazzling sapphire like Lukas's now seemed so dull. It seemed like every time Lukas went to see her, the mother he once knew kept disappearing more and more. He was terrified that one day he'd visit her, and he'd only see a stranger.

And then there was Emil, Lukas's younger brother. Emil was technically Lukas's half-brother, but Lukas refused to use that term. The two looked like their mother and both had her face, though Lukas had her blonde hair and sapphire eyes. Emil had his father's violet eyes and silvery hair.

Lukas was eighteen when Emil was born, and though he tried everything in his power to hate Emil, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Especially the day when Emil had a high fever when he was two years old and Lukas had to babysit him. The small boy had crawled into his big brother's lap, thinking that his big brother could make him feel better and make the bad feeling go away. Emil had clung to Lukas with everything he had and cried, begging Lukas to take the fever away. Lukas, just humoring his younger brother, had chanted what was supposed to sound like a magic spell, but was just random silly words. Moments later, Emil had begun to sweat profusely as his fever broke and he began to feel better. Ever since that day, Emil thought of Lukas as magical and his hero. Lukas never once corrected him.

"They mean that much to you, huh?" Mathias asked, raising an eyebrow to his friend.

"Doesn't your family?" Lukas asked, raising an eyebrow back. "The way you corrected me on Tino's age, I can tell you care about him a lot, whether he is blood or not."

"You are very perceptive, Bondevik," Mathias stated, smiling widely.

"And you're not?" Lukas shot back.

"Fair enough," Mathias said with a smirk as he chuckled to himself. "You are just full of surprises, Lukas."

Lukas stayed quiet. He didn't feel comfortable with knowing how he was full of surprises at the moment. Besides, they were to where his mother and brother were staying. "We're here," he said before knocking. He looked at the three bags next to the door. They most likely belonged to his family. It made him angry to see them out on the street where anyone could get them.

The landlord opened the door, but Lukas didn't even let him get a greeting out before simply saying, " _Jag är här för min mamma och bror._ "

Elsa Steilsson came to the door, holding her younger son. "Lukas?" she softly asked in English. "You don't need to be rude." She began to cough so hard her body shook.

Lukas quickly took Emil from her, the sleepy five-year-old too tired to know who was even carrying him. He cradled his little brother's head into his chest. "We're here to take you to a new home, Mother," he softly told her. "These are some friends of mine. We're going to take your stuff and we're going to move you to a nice place where you and Emil will be safe."

Elsa smiled gratefully. "All of our things are outside. I'm afraid there are only three bags." She blinked curiously. "You said 'these', but there is only one person in here with you, Luke."

Lukas turned around to see Mathias. "Where are your cousins?" he asked him.

"They probably stayed outside with her stuff to make sure none of it got stolen," Mathias answered with a shrug. "Ber's pretty intimidating. I don't think anyone would want to steal something he's standing next to."

Lukas nodded. "Right." He then noticed something. "Wait, does Emil not have a coat anymore?" he asked. "It's too cold for him to go outside like this, Mother."

Elsa sighed. "We had to get rid of it this past summer to pay rent," she softly said. "Mine, too."

Mathias shrugged off his coat. "Here, you wear mine," he told her. "It's not too long of a walk. I can handle it." He put his coat over his shoulders. "My cousins can carry your bags, ma'am. You don't look like you can walk too well, so I will help you."

Lukas gave Mathias a suspicious look before carefully shrugging out of his own coat without waking Emil and draping it around him. Why was Mathias being so kind to him and his family? It worried him to know what Mathias would expect in return for all of his chivalry. He made sure his brother was nice and snug before stepping outside without another word to the landlord.

"Are you sure you won't be cold?" Elsa asked Mathias as they also stepped outside.

Lukas heard the laughter in Mathias's voice as he said, "I am sure, ma'am."

"Please, dear, call me Elsa," she said.

"Then call me Mathias," he told her in response. "I am a friend of Lukas's from the base. You will be staying with my beloved Aunt Sigrid and her son Berwald and his friend Tino. They are all great people. Berwald and Tino will help with Emil and I know my Aunt Sigrid will love your company."

Elsa coughed harshly into her fist. "That sounds lovely, dear." Her body shook with coughs as she stopped and nearly doubled over.

"Mother!" Lukas exclaimed in panic. He turned to her, shielding Emil away from the cold. He himself was rather cold, but he ignored the chills he felt as his mother coughed behind him.

"I'm fine, Lukas," she struggled to say between coughs. She finally doubled over as her face turned red.

Mathias looked to Lukas before picking Elsa up bridal style. "I'll carry you the rest of the way, Elsa. It won't be too far." He frowned when he saw how worried Lukas looked. "It's nice and warm there, and I'm sure my aunt has something to help that cough. She's all about home remedies."

Lukas began to walk in step with Mathias, Berwald and Tino taking the lead. He wanted to reach out and hold his mother's hand to reassure her that everything would be okay, but he needed both hands to carry Emil and to make sure the coat stayed secure on him. No matter how reassuring Mathias's words sounded, he couldn't stop the knot from forming in the pit of his stomach. His mother was very sick, and there was nothing he could do.

.

Lukas sat on the couch in Sigrid Oxenstierna's home, sipping at coffee made by Berwald. It was really good, he had to admit. Emil was asleep, his head in Lukas's lap and laying across Elsa and Mathias, Elsa seated between the two men. Lukas was absently running his fingers through his brother's hair as he sipped.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Sigrid," Elsa said, nodding her head to her new landlord. "If there is anything I can do, please let me know."

"Please," Sigrid said, smiling, "you are a guest for now. I would like for you to get your strength back first. You must take care of your health. Berwald, Tino, and I will help with little Emil while you recover."

Elsa's eyes widened. "You must be some sort of angel!"

Mathias smirked at Lukas as me mouthed, "Angel," to him. Lukas rolled his eyes and huffed into his coffee, looking away. Again with that angel nonsense. Yet even though he was annoyed with Mathias, he knew he was forever indebted to him for what he had done for him that day. Lukas would never be able to repay him for the kindness shown to his family, yet he was worried about what he would have to do to repay him. That was enough to make him put down his coffee, unable to finish the delicious beverage made for him due to the knot in his stomach. If he had to drink one more drop, he was worried it would all come up. Deep down, he was terrified of what he would have to do to pay back Mathias.


	2. Chapter 2

_Early October, 1943, Stockholm, Sweden_

Lukas was beginning to worry when Mathias hadn't expected anything in return yet and hadn't even bothered him for payment. He was feeling as if he were starting to develop ulcers in his stomach. His weight was beginning to drop as he began to eat less and less due to worrying what Mathias would expect in return for taking in his mom and brother.

After two weeks, Lukas finally took matters into his own hands and sought out Mathias. He had to know what Mathias wanted in return for all of this, or it would eventually kill him. It was starting to destroy him.

"Nothing," was Mathias's answer. He smiled widely at Lukas. "I want nothing in return from you, Lukas."

" _Nothing?!_ " Lukas responded with. "Mathias, I know you better than that! This is something _huge_! I know you're going to expect at least _something_ from it!"

Mathias simply shook his head. "I don't want anything from you, Lukas. I just wanted to help a friend in need, okay? And that's what I did. So let's drop it. Your mother is doing better, and your brother loves playing with Tino from what I've heard."

Lukas smiled a little at the mention of Emil but immediately frowned when he remembered what they were talking about. "Mathias, be reasonable! Surely you want some kind of payment!"

Mathias turned to him. "I expect nothing in return, Lukas. How hard is that to understand?" He backed Lukas into a wall, pinning him against it by putting a hand on either side of him. "I don't want anything from you. I'm doing a favor for a good friend, and I don't want anything in return. I don't know how many times I need to say it to get it through that thick, Norwegian skull of yours."

Lukas gulped. He had never been this close to Mathias. It almost made him uncomfortable, yet it also sent an almost electric feeling through his body. His breathing became uneven, but he tried not to make it noticeable. What was going on with him? Why was this happening? It was just Mathias! This was just ridiculous!

Mathias got close to his face. "Are we understood, Lukas?" he asked, breath hot against Lukas's ear.

Lukas quickly nodded, hoping Mathias would back down quickly. If Mathias backed down, maybe that weird fluttery feeling in his stomach would go away. Maybe that tingling feeling in his spine would stop. Hopefully it would make his heart stop pounding as well. What was going on with him?

Mathias backed away just like Lukas had hoped. "Good, I'm glad we're on the same page now," he said with a cheerful grin. "Now tomorrow is our day off from training and I was planning on going to see my family. Would you like to tag along and see yours too?"

Lukas was unable to speak. Even when Mathias had backed away, the feelings he wanted to go away hadn't gone with him. He nodded to show that he would like to go, a lost look in his eyes.

"Hey, don't look so shocked," Mathias said. "I'm a nice person. I really am." He smiled at Lukas, which made Lukas wish he wouldn't have because his stomach almost flipped on the inside. "So we'll go together to my house then!"

Lukas nodded once more, trying to smile, but trying not to make it seem forced. That was the last thing he wanted, for Mathias to think that Lukas was forcing himself to smile for him. Lukas really did want to smile, but his face just wasn't used to that sort of expression unless he was with Emil. Then it was always smiles all the time.

"Are you okay?" Mathias asked. "You look pained."

 _Great,_ Lukas thought. _Instead of a forced smile, I just look pained._ He sighed inwardly and shook his head no. "I'm fine," he managed to say. Unfortunately, that was probably all he would be able to say.

"If you say so," Mathias sighed. "Just remember, you don't owe me a thing, got it?" He smiled at Lukas, causing Lukas to hold in a slight flinch. "Anyway, I'm going to my bunk. I'll catch you later, Bondevik."

"Lukas," he corrected, causing Mathias to turn around in confusion.

"What?" Mathias asked.

"Call me Lukas," he said. "After all, that _is_ my name."

Mathias smiled again. "Okay. I'll talk to you later then, Lukas." He strolled down the hallways toward the infantry barracks, leaving Lukas alone in the hall.

Lukas sunk against the wall, putting a hand to his heart that was still pounding madly in his chest. He began to nearly hyperventilate. What was that sensation he was feeling deep in his core? He had never felt something like this! It was like the thrill of when he went up in an airplane for the first time, when his stomach caught and he felt weightless for a few moments, only the weightless feeling wasn't going away. But what could cause this feeling without the force of flying up into the sky?

He sat there until the sun went down and moonlight shone through the windows. His heart had finally slowed back to its normal pace, but he couldn't stop thinking about what could have caused that thrilling sensation. It was an amazing feeling, but it made his head spin to even think about it. He just felt dizzy from all of it, which was the reason why he had refused to get up for so long. Some soldiers had even passed him and thought him to be drunk, but he didn't care. He just wanted to figure things out.

Lukas slowly got up and made his way back to his barracks on his own, passing the infantry on his way. The door was closed, naturally, but he was hoping he'd run into Mathias somehow, but he didn't. Why was he hoping that, though? It was all too confusing, and he thought maybe he was just feeling a little under the weather and just needed sleep. He went straight to bed when he got to his bunk, but all night he had that thrilling feeling coursing through his body and mind. What was causing it?

.

Lukas woke early the next morning feeling just as confused as the day before. Luckily, those odd sensations had gone away in his sleep. But they had left him with a nagging feeling in his gut that he couldn't quite shake, and it made him irritable. He hated that Mathias had done this to him, but he couldn't figure out how Mathias had done it in the first place!

Irritated, he went to the showers. Maybe if he took a steaming hot shower, that could distract him from all of the inner frustration he was feeling. It was worth a shot in his mind.

He sighed as he walked to the showers. He could already hear other men in there. It bothered him that they all showered together. Lukas was a bit on the scrawny side compared to a lot of them, especially Mathias. But he knew he would have to deal with it, or else all of the hot water would be gone before he knew it.

He yawned as he wandered in and began to change out of his dirty clothes. He set his change of clothes with the clean clothes of the other men and went to claim a shower that was available, a towel around his waist. He soon found on and hummed softly to himself as he showered.

Today was a day that he was looking forward to. As soon as he was done showering, he was going to go and look for Mathias. He wanted to go and see his mother and Emil as soon as possible. It had been too long since he last saw them, which was the night he had helped them move. He had been too busy and anxious since then.

"Good morning, Lukas," he heard Mathias's voice greet from the shower next to his.

Lukas could feel the blush rising in his cheeks. "Mathias, could you please not talk to me so casually while we're both naked?" he asked, scrubbing at his hair. He could feel that weird feeling from the day before beginning to build up inside of him while Mathias stood next to him in the showers. It also didn't help that Mathias could see him like this, and that he could see Mathias all the same.

"Everyone else is doing it," Mathias said, looking around the showers at the other men who were casually talking to each other in Swedish, Danish, and Norwegian. They were usually the only two who spoke in English at all times. "Why does it bother you? Are you just really shy?" He used his bar of soap and began to scrub at the muscles on his torso that Lukas now desperately tried not to notice.

"People think I'm selfish and hateful," Lukas grumbled, barely heard over the chattering of the other men and the flowing of the showers, "but yes, I am terribly shy."

Mathias blinked in surprise. "No kidding? I never would have guessed. You've never been shy toward me." He squirted his shampoo into his hand and then scrubbed it into his hand. "I never would have guessed that you were shy."

Lukas blushed even harder, but since it was so hot in there it was hardly noticeable. "Is it really that hard to believe?" he asked. He began to scrub at his body with his soap. "I'm a person, just the same as you."

"True," Mathias said with a nod. "You just don't seem like the shy type to me is all. You seem very confident to me."

" _Takk_ ," Lukas muttered, though he wasn't sure if Mathias had heard him or not. Then he had realized he hadn't spoken in English, breaking the rule he had made. "Thank you," he corrected, blushing even harder.

Mathias grinned over at him. "Hey, it's not a problem at all, Lukas," he said. "What do you say about after this we head over to my aunt's house? I'm sure your mom and brother are just dying to see you. My aunt says they're doing very well and that your mother's condition has even gotten a lot better."

"Really?" Lukas asked. He hadn't really heard from his mother since he had moved them into Sigrid Oxenstierna's home, but he had always told himself that no news was good news. "I'm glad to heard that. It's actually a great relief to me."

"I thought it would be," Mathias said with a triumphant smile. He laughed. "It's good to see you looking hopeful, Lukas. You've been looking worried and down lately."

Lukas didn't want to admit that it was because he had been so worried about what he had owed Mathias, so he didn't say anything. He instead left it to Mathias to wonder what it was about, thus leaving it to the imagination instead of hurting his feelings.

"I don't like seeing you down like that," Mathias told him, matter-of-factly. "It brings me down and it's just not good on you. I think I like seeing you happy better."

"What do I care what you like better when it comes to me?" Lukas huffed, although he felt oddly flattered that Mathias shared that bit of information. "I've just been worried about my family is all," he lied. "My mother is sick and has been lying to me about it, so I'm glad to know she's finally getting better."

Mathias smiled. "Yeah, it makes me glad to see you relieved to know that." He turned the water off on his shower as Lukas did the same. Both of them wrapped their towels around their waists and made their way to their clothes. "She didn't look too great when we helped her move, and her cough sounded dreadful."

Lukas solemnly nodded. "She acts like she's fine so Emil won't catch on, but she won't be able to hide things like that forever." He sighed and grabbed another towel and began to towel-dry his hair. "Emil is very smart and he'll start piecing things together soon enough. He isn't a fool."

"You've got that right," the Dane said as he, too, began to towel-dry his hair with another towel. He frowned as he realized water got into his ear. "Your brother seems kinda like you from what my aunt has told me. She says he's very intelligent for his age and understands more than he lets on. He knows just how sick your mother is."

That last sentence nearly made Lukas's blood turn cold. His hand trembled a little, and he felt himself go numb as he quickly dried went to a toilet stall to dry himself off and change into his clothes. All he could think about was what Mathias had said, though. " _He knows just how sick your mother is."_ It made him feel nauseous almost. A five-year-old shouldn't know or think about things like that. He ended up vomiting before leaving the toilet stall, overwhelmed by the thought of his baby brother knowing such things.

"Was that you throwing up?" Mathias asked Lukas when he came out clutching his stomach. "You really don't look so great. Are you sure you don't want to stay here?"

"I have to go," Lukas said. He shook his head. "I'm fine. I just...My little brother shouldn't know things like that. He shouldn't have to know. My mother shouldn't be sick at all. I should be taking care of her like a good son."

"But you are," Mathias said. "No one said things like this would be easy, Lukas." He frowned when Lukas shook his head. "Look, you're making me nervous. At least sit for a minute or two. You're really pale."

Lukas crouched against a wall, holding his head in his hands. "Will this do?" he asked irritably.

"I guess so?" Mathias said. He sighed and leaned against the same wall and blew his hair out of his eyes. "Lukas, take better care of yourself, eh?"

"What do you mean? It's my mother who's sick, not me," Lukas grumbled at him, hanging his head between his knees. He felt like he was going to vomit again and had to get rid of the nauseous feeling.

"You'll be right after her if you're not careful," Mathias warned. "I couldn't be more serious about that." He pointed a finger at Lukas. "Don't make me have to keep an eye on you."

"I'm an adult, Mathias," Lukas reminded. "I'll be fine."

"So is she," Mathias shot back.

Lukas closed his mouth tightly. Mathias had a point that he could not argue against. He sighed and hung his head further between his legs. "Why are you always right?" he sighed.

"I don't know, I think it might be a Danish thing." He grinned to himself. "But don't worry about it. At least you'll see your family today, you know? Plenty of things to look forward to, am I right?"

"I guess so," Lukas sighed. He blew his bangs out of his eyes and stood after a few moments. "Okay, I think I'm ready. Can we go?"

Mathias grinned. "Of course we can!"

.

Lukas once again found himself in Sigrid Oxenstierna's cozy living room. Something about the furnishings made it very comfortable and cozy. He felt at home with a mug of Berwald's special coffee and Emil chattering away on his lap. It was so relaxing that he almost closed his eyes and lost himself in the moment.

Elsa and Sigrid were sitting in two armchairs and knitting while talking in rapid Swedish, both in high spirits. Lukas hadn't seen his mother this well in a long time. Perhaps he should have moved her here long before now. She seemed much happier, as did Emil. The little boy couldn't stop going on and on about how cool Berwald and Tino were.

"Sounds like someone might get replaced on role model status," Mathias teased in Swedish as Emil went on and on about Tino and Berwald.

Lukas rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up," he grumbled back at him. They had agreed that they would speak in Swedish at Sigrid's house because that's what everyone there spoke. It would be better that way. "Emil will always favor me over them any day. Isn't that right, Emil?"

Emil nodded. "Yup!" He grinned up at Lukas. "Now where was I? Oh, yeah! Tino told me this story about how one time he…"

"Right, because he talks about you like this _all_ the time," Mathias said as Emil's chattering voice faded into the background for them. He rested his arms across the back of the couch where he sat next to Lukas, who had Emil seated on his lap.

Lukas glared over at Mathias, yet the feeling of Mathias's arm behind him sent his stomach spiraling down into his gut. He couldn't help it as he fought to keep his blush out of his cheeks. He couldn't let his weird emotions get the best of him. After all, he couldn't even explain what kind of an emotion this was!

"So we're almost done with training," Mathias reminded him. "Only three more weeks. And then off to England we go." He raised his eyebrows. "Are you excited?"

Lukas's stomach turned a little. "Well, I guess so," he said. "It's the same as anything, right?"

"Same?" Mathias asked incredulously. "Please tell me you're joking! Lukas, this is a war we're in! We're going against heartless murderers who torture people just for fun! I've heard what the Germans do to their prisoners!"

Lukas gulped. "Look, let's not talk about this in front of Emil," he slowly said. Personally, he didn't want to talk about it, period. His stomach twisted any time the Germans were even mentioned. He didn't want to think about those blond-haired, blue-eyed bastards who thought the world needed to bow to them. They made him sick!

"Fair enough," Mathias agreed, dropping it. He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table, sipping at his coffee.

"Why do you guys drink that?" Emil asked, pointing to their mugs. "Can I have some?"

"It's for adults," Mathias answered. "And why don't you try some? It's pretty gross, though. I don't think you'll like it."

"If my big brother and Tino like it, then why wouldn't I?" Emil asked, puffing out his chest and cheeks, which almost made Lukas burst out laughing.

"Try at your own risk," Mathias said, offering his mug. He helped Emil take a sip and burst out laughing at the face the small boy made, along with Lukas. "I told you that you wouldn't like it, but you wouldn't listen to me!"

"Why would you drink such a terrible drink?!" Emil asked, horrified. His large, violet eyes stared at them, widened in horror.

Lukas remained laughing. "It keeps us going through the day. You'll understand as you get older, Em." He patted his little brother on the head.

"I'll never understand it either," Berwald sighed from an armchair across the room where he sat playing chess with Tino. "I never had a taste for the stuff either. It's disgusting."

"Says you," Tino simply said before taking a drink of his own coffee, poking Berwald in the forehead before moving one of his pieces.

Lukas enjoyed watching all of the interactions of Mathias's family. He had grown used to them and quite fond of them over the afternoon. His mother and brother really liked them a lot as well, which added in as an extra bonus for them. Anyone they liked, he automatically had to like. After all, a friend of his family was a friend of his.

"How do you know I don't put extra gross things in yours?" Berwald challenged Tino after moving a piece of his own.

Tino glared at Berwald, looking up from the chess board. "Please tell me you're joking. I don't joke about my coffee. If you mess with my coffee, you had better learn to sleep with your eyes open, Berwald Oxenstierna."

Lukas smiled when he noticed that Sigrid didn't even act against the threat to her son. This was the kind of afternoon he always wanted. He had never really had friends before, having felt like he had grown up too fast. Now he had three his age, or at least around it. And the best part of it was that they expected nothing of him but for him to just be himself.


	3. Chapter 3

_Mid October, 1943, Stockholm, Sweden_

Lukas was on dishes duty at the base one night as he listened to the radio. He was listening to one of the stations that was in English. It usually had really good music playing, but there was a specific song that he liked whenever it came on. He liked it for a specific reason. The song reminded him of Mathias.

Then he heard it, the familiar guitar melody that introduced the song "If I Didn't Care" by The Ink Spots. A familiar voice began to sing through the crackling speakers. " _If I didn't care more than words can say,_

 _If I didn't care, would I feel this way?_

 _If this isn't love, then why do I thrill?_

 _And what makes my head go 'round and 'round while my heart stands still?_ "

Lukas began to hum along with the music as it kept going and he scrubbed at the trays and silverware in the sink. He could get lost in that song so easily. Music was intoxicating to him, especially when it was a song that meant as much to him as this one did.

" _And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?_ " he sang

" _Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?_ "

Mathias walked in. "You have a nice singing voice, Lukas," he complimented.

Lukas turned a deep scarlet and nearly jumped out of his skin. "Mathias! Don't scare me like that!" He turned down the radio so he could hear Mathias better, but Mathias only turned the radio back up to where it was. "Why did you do that?"

"I want to hear the song," Mathias casually answered. "I haven't heard it before, but I like it." He began to sway in time with the music as his eyes shut. "I like it, though." His voice began to softly hum along to it. "So you know this song?"

"I do," Lukas answered slowly as he began to scrub at the trays once more. He didn't see where Mathias was going with this and wasn't sure if he wanted to, for that matter. "Why?"

"Sing it to me," Mathias encouraged.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lukas scoffed. "No way." He scrubbed harder at the tray in his hand. "There is no way I could sing in front of someone if I know that they're there…"

"Not even if they were your best friend?" Mathias asked. Lukas didn't have to turn toward him to know that he was smiling that stupid, cocky grin of his and batting his eyelashes.

"Not even," Lukas confirmed, nodding. He turned and saw the grin, though. Immediately his stomach was turning inside his gut. He felt it twist in a knot as he tried to ignore it. "Stop that," he snapped. "It's annoying."

"Why does it annoy you so much?" Mathias asked, smirking.

Lukas tried to act like it didn't bother him, but that smirk was going to be the death of him one day! "It does, now just knock it off!" He was so frustrated. How did Mathias not frustrate anyone else like this? It irritated him to no end! Why was it just him?

"Why are you getting so mad?" Mathias asked him, smirk fading. "I'm only messing around with you. It's just out of fun is all."

"We're best friends," Lukas said, hoping that his red blush will be mistaken for red rage. "That means I can get mad at you for anything and you'll understand no matter what because we're best friends."

Mathias looked as if he were thinking it over for a bit. "I suppose you're right," he decided. "But you sure choose the dumbest things to get angry over, Lukas."

Lukas frowned at him and huffed out, splashing him with the dishwater. "I can get mad over whatever I damn well please," he huffed at him.

"Look, feel free to get mad about whatever you want," Mathias told him. "I just don't understand why you're always mad at me. You never seem to be mad at anyone else, so why is it always me? It's like you're always frustrated with me, and I just don't get you."

Lukas blinked in surprise. He didn't realize that he had been so obvious that Mathias would have noticed it as well. "I don't try to be," he said. "I really don't. I just can't explain why right now. It's weird." He turned back to the sink as the song ended. His hand reached up and switched off the radio. "The song's over anyway, and that's the only one I know that regularly plays on the radio. Perhaps I'll sing another time, Mathias."

Mathias smiled to himself. "Yeah, perhaps," he said. He turned to leave the dishroom, but then turned back. "Do you need any help, Lukas? This will take forever by yourself."

Lukas felt his breath catch in his lungs. "Huh?" he asked. He held his breath for a moment before letting it out. His pulse sped up as he thought of him and Mathias along in here for longer as they washed trays and silverware and cups together. He thought of their hands possibly touching under the water and he stopped breathing for a moment. He couldn't handle it. "No," he quickly said. "I'm fine, Mathias. Really. I'll be okay. I can handle this. There's only a few left." His hand brushed the many trays under the water. It would take forever, but he knew he had to do it alone. "I'll catch up with you when I'm done."

Mathias shrugged. "If you're sure," he said. He went to the door. "I'll talk to you later, Lukas." With that, he left.

Lukas placed his hands on the side of the sink, realizing his arms were the only limbs of his that were currently supporting him. His legs were trembling beneath him, threatening to give way at any second. It was too much for him, so he lowered himself to a crouch against the far wall of the dishroom. He held his head in his hands for a moment.

What was wrong with him? Why was Mathias turning him into a wreck like this? It was so aggravating! He wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, but when the hell had they changed was what he wanted to know! When did Mathias start doing this to him? And when did he allow Mathias to have this sort of affect on him?

.

"Damn, that took you forever!" Mathias complained when Lukas joined him in the common area of the base. He was sitting at a free chess table that he had been occupying so he and Lukas could play against each other. "I've been sitting here for almost two hours!"

"Sorry about that, I got distracted," Lukas quietly murmured, sitting across from him. He looked across the board at Mathias. "Since I was late, I will allow you to make the first move, Mathias."

"You're too kind," Mathias scoffed, moving his pawn in front of his king. "What took you so long anyway? I know there weren't that many trays. You must get distracted easily."

"I do," Lukas muttered, taking his own turn. He didn't want to say what he was distracted by, what he had nearly hyperventilated over for almost half an hour. That wouldn't matter to Mathias anyway. Besides, men weren't supposed to react that way to other men. That was a fact.

"I'd say," Mathias sighed to himself. He exhaled, sighing once more as he took another turn. His foot tapped softly against the floor as he began to hum to himself, the tune of the song Lukas had been singing earlier. "You know, I can't get that song you were singing out of my head, Lukas. What's it called again?"

"'If I Didn't Care' is the title," Lukas softly answered, taking his turn. He couldn't trust himself to let his eyes leave the chess board for longer than three seconds. He couldn't let that happen. If he were to let it happen, he knew he would end up crouched against the wall somewhere, struggling to breathe once more. "I really like that song."

"I could tell you did," Mathias answered, causing Lukas's heart to nearly skip a beat. "I pay attention to people. The way you were singing it told me that you really do like that song and that it holds a lot of meaning to you. Maybe it means you're in love with someone. Either way, the person that song reminds you of is someone your heart holds dear to it."

"Is that so?" Lukas asked. He had never thought of it that way. His heart held Mathias dear to it? That was a new way of looking at why he acted so stupidly whenever Mathias was around, or when thinking of Mathias. "I never thought of it that way."

"Isn't that song about being in love?" Mathias asked. "It's about caring about someone, being in love. If you didn't care about the person, then all the things happening to the person singing the song wouldn't be true. I listened to the lyrics, Lukas. I thought you knew them."

Lukas could feel himself blushing. "I know them," he quickly said. "I just never paid attention to what they were really saying is all." He felt like an idiot that Mathias knew the song better than him after only listening to it once. "Maybe I should…"

"You should," Mathias encouraged. "It's a great song!" He began to hum the tune louder now. "I'm glad I heard it today. It's very catchy!"

"That's why I like it," Lukas admitted. "It's an American song, sung by a group of -what was the word for it?- colored men."

"Colored?" Mathias asked, confused.

"African," Lukas said. "That's what they call it in America, I suppose." He shrugged. "America has such strange wordings for things. I think I'd rather just stay here in Europe. At least things are somewhat the same. That's why I'd rather fly for the British than the Americans, but they're technically the same…" Lukas sighed.

Mathias smiled. "And I'll be on the infantry for the British if you're flying for them. You can count on me. You'll be the eyes in the sky, and I'll be the eyes on the ground."

Lukas smiled back. "Sounds like a great team to me."

"Only the greatest," Mathias assured. "All the other teams will be jealous of the way we will work together."

The way Mathias had said the word together made Lukas almost tremble in his seat. He hadn't realized how sensitive he was to some of the things Mathias could say. His stomach was clenched tightly inside of him once more, about ready to let loose and spiral out of control again.

"Lukas? Are you all right?" Mathias asked, raising an eyebrow. "You look pale. Are you sure you're not getting sick on me? You know your final flight is coming up, right? Are you nervous about that? If that's what's going on, you're going to do fine. I watch you fly every time you go up. You can handle it. You're one of the best."

Lukas wanted to beg him to stop, but didn't know how to ask him to. He always wasn't sure how Mathias would react. If only Mathias wasn't saying only the most perfect things to him at that time. If only Mathias wasn't so perfect all the damn time it would be easier to shut him up.

"Mathias, please," Lukas quietly said. "I need to concentrate on my move." He gestured to the chess board.

"Right," Mathias quietly said. "Sorry."

The Norwegian almost couldn't believe how simple that was as he stared at the board and pretended to contemplate his next move. He was almost to the point of wanting to look up and admire Mathias, but he knew he couldn't do that. He had to hold himself together and suppress all desires like that. It would be hard, but he knew he could do it. His fingers grabbed a piece and skillfully moved it to another spot on the board.

"Good move, Lukas," Mathias observed. "But I'm afraid it may not be good enough." He moved his piece and took the one Lukas had just moved. "Come one, you usually have a sharper eye than that. Are you just letting me win?"

"You wish," Lukas scoffed. He crossed his arms over his chest and huffed, scanning the board through narrowed, focused eyes. "I can still kick your ass."

"Tough talk for a man whose queen was just taken because of a careless move," Mathias scoffed back.

Lukas glared across the board at him. "I'll still beat you, Dane. You just watch!"

Mathias grinned. "I love it when you get all hyped up and competitive over chess! It makes it so much more fun to play!" He scooted closer to the board as his grin widened.

Lukas's heart began to beat wildly in his chest at the sight of Mathias's grin. He was glad that he could have an excuse to only look at the board. After all, he had to kick Mathias's ass in chess somehow. He didn't care how long it took, he had to win this game.

Nearly a half hour later, Lukas stood from the game triumphant while Mathias gaped in horror with an exclamation of, "How the hell did you beat me again?! You only had two pieces left and I had seven!"

"It doesn't matter the amount of pieces on the board," Lukas sighed. "The amount of knowledge in your head is what matters." He smiled to himself as he turned his back on Mathias and looked out the window. It was snowing outside, which would make flying more of a challenge in the morning, but Lukas was up for another challenge. "We should get to bed, Mathias. It's going to be a long day tomorrow, I guarantee it."

"Why do you say that?" Mathias asked before looking out the window. "Holy shit, that's a lot of snow!" He ran over to it. "Look at all of it! You're going to have to clean the hell off of your planes tomorrow morning!"

Lukas groaned. "Don't remind me," he sighed. "And you'll have to clean it off of your tanks, Mathias."

Mathias groaned louder than Lukas did. "That's going to be the death of me! Just kill me now, Lukas!" He threw his head back and groaned again. "I think I'm going to head to bed. I'm not looking forward to the morning."

"Neither am I," Lukas agreed as the two of them began to set off toward the sleeping quarters. He was happy they slept in the same general direction so the conversation didn't have to abruptly end right then and there. Then again, he was never that great at keeping conversation anyway.

"My aunt always made sure I had a lot of pairs of wool socks for weather like this," Mathias sighed. "It's a good thing I listened to her. I wear two pairs when it snows to keep my feet warm. Do you have any, Lukas?"

Lukas looked at him. "What?"

"Wool socks," Mathias said. "Do you have a pair of wool socks?"

Lukas shook his head. "I don't."

Mathias nodded toward his sleeping quarters. "Come with me," he said. "And don't worry. You won't get in trouble." He led the way to where his bunk was and pulled out two pairs of really warm-looking black socks. "Two pairs of wool socks for you, Lukas. Since you're up in the high altitudes in the sky, you'll probably need them more than I will," he laughed quietly, careful not to wake anyone. "Here, wear them. They'll keep your feet warm. I guarantee it."

Lukas didn't know what to do as the socks were thrust into his hands. He knew he had to accept them, so he did. " _Takk_ ," he softly said with a nod.

"What's socks between friends?" Mathias said, grinning widely. "Now get to bed, Lukas. You've got a plane to fly in the snow tomorrow."

Lukas walked back to his sleeping quarters, confused, but he held onto those socks. He put them with his flight gear and uniform for the morning. The socks looked so warm and he was happy that Mathias had given them to him and that it wasn't anyone else who had. At least that was something to look forward to about the next day, seeing Mathias.

.

Lukas slipped the two pairs of wool socks on before putting on his boots the next morning and they really did make a difference while he was flying! His feet had never been more warm when he was up in the sky! It was perfect! He would definitely have to thank Mathias when he landed!

Once training was done, he went and changed into the normal relaxation clothes he wore around the base, just one pair of socks and regular shoes. He looked around for Mathias and was concerned when he couldn't find him. But he eventually found him by their usual chess board.

"I'll beat you today, Lukas," he said, which was his usual greeting.

"Are you so sure of that?" Lukas asked, sitting down across from him. "If you're so certain, then I'll let you have the first move."

Mathias started out with his usual first move. "So how did the socks work for you today?"

"They were great on my feet," Lukas said, an almost smile playing on his lips. "Thank you very much, Mathias. Were you warm enough on the ground?"

"Of course!" Mathias answered so carelessly. "I always have about eight pairs of the wool socks, so my feet were nice and warm. My coat got a tear in it today, though, so I'll have to ask my aunt to patch it up as soon as she's able to."

"I can sew," Lukas offered. "My mother taught me to do that so I can patch up my own things while I'm here in case something like that were to happen. She even sent me a sewing kit a few months back when a sock I had needed mending."

Mathias whistled lowly to himself. "Leave it to Elsa to think of everything," he said admirably. "My aunt is an angel, and your mother is a saint," he concluded.

That wound up making Lukas smile. "You can say that again." He moved a piece and waited patiently for Mathias to take his turn. "Just bring the coat to me, and I'll fix it for you, okay? It'll be no problem, especially after all you've done for me."

Mathias's grin was so wide that Lukas was surprised at how it could fit on his face. "Thanks, Lukas! You're the greatest, pal!"

"Thanks," Lukas said, smiling a little to himself. He liked receiving words of praise from Mathias. They made him feel better than any words of praise from anyone else. That was for sure.

.

Mathias went and got his coat sometimes later and Lukas got his sewing kit as he did that. The two met back up in the common area and sat on a couch together, Lukas resting his sewing kit on the cushion between them so they weren't too close on there. He wouldn't have been able to stand it otherwise. He probably would have hyperventilated.

"Good as new?" Lukas asked as he handed the coat back. His careful stitching was barely noticeable. He had made sure of that.

"Wow!" Mathias enthused, looking at it. "You can't even tell that it was sewn up! You sewed right along the seem! Thank you, Lukas!"

"You're welcome," Lukas told him, putting the needle and thread back into the sewing kit. He just hoped that Mathias wouldn't come to him for every single thing that needed patched up, Then again, deep down, he would love to have Mathias depend on him like that.

Mathias stood up. "You're the best out there, Lukas. I mean it."

Lukas's heart swelled up at the compliment. If only Mathias knew how much that truly meant to him. Maybe one day Lukas could tell him how much that meant. Until then, Lukas would have to hide those feelings away. That was just the way things had to be, and he hated it.

"Thanks," Lukas quietly said, unable to hide his blush. "I'm going to go and put this sewing kit away." He got up and held his sewing kit in his hands. "I'll be right back." He rushed from the room, hoping that Mathias didn't notice how red his cheeks were. That would have been humiliating. He kept having to mentally chide himself for his feelings. _No, Lukas!_ He told himself. _Men do not feel that way about other men! They cannot! They do not! They will not!_ So why did he?


	4. Chapter 4

_Early November, 1943, Stockholm, Sweden_

It was over. All of those months in the base had finally paid off. Lukas was officially a fighter pilot, certified to fly for any military he chose. He looked down at the military pilot's license that he held in his hand, his picture on it looking so serious that he was surprised it was even him. Was he always that serious-looking?

"Lukas!" Mathias called. "Did you get it?" He rushed over to Lukas to look at the plastic card in his hand. "Damn, why so serious, Lukas? You did it!"

"I did it," he breathed. His eyes widened. "I really did it, Mathias. I can fly for the British military now." He looked up at Mathias as his eyes widened. "Mathias, I can do it!" His eyes were almost sparkling. "I can join the British military!"

Mathias smiled widely. "When do you want to enlist? I mean, we've both been saving up for awhile, so we can go whenever you're ready."

"We?" Lukas asked, looking curiously at Mathias.

"Why else do you think I've been speaking English with you?" Mathias asked. "We made an agreement to join the British military together, remember? It was when we met during the first day here." He smiled as he thought back. "Good times, Lukas. And now look at us. We made it. We can now join the British military together. What do you say?"

Lukas felt a small smile tug at his lips. "Fine," he decided. "Let's do it. And since it's Wednesday, let's leave for England this weekend, okay? Will that give you enough time to say goodbye if we leave on Saturday?"

"That's plenty of time," Mathias said. "My aunt was always aware of my plan to leave for England, so she won't be shocked when I say I'm leaving in a few days."

"Neither will my mother," Lukas told him. He thought about it. A trip to England alone would have been terrifying, but with Mathias going with him it seemed like everything was going to be okay. "Let's plan to leave Saturday, Mathias."

Mathias nodded. "Perfect. I think that's when most men from here will be shipping off to their respective militaries anyway."

Lukas nodded absently. "That's why I said it." He still couldn't shake the weird butterfly feeling. "But we no longer have to stay at the base. Let's go stay at your house with our families. I'm sure I can fit on that couch in the living room."

Mathias laughed. "Yeah, and I still have my room to stay in since Berwald and Tino still share their room."

"Why do they still share a room if you're moved out?" Lukas curiously asked, looking up at Mathias. It was an honest question, but the uncomfortable look on Mathias's face made him want to take it back.

"Keep it between us, okay?" Mathias said. He didn't go on until Lukas nodded his agreement. "They're kind of a thing…"

"A thing?" Lukas asked. His eyes widened in realization. "You mean they're a couple?" he quietly asked.

Mathias nodded. "Yeah, but only my family knows. I'm pretty sure your mother has caught on, or Aunt Sigrid has probably told her. I doubt Emil knows. I've known for about four years now. They've been one almost since the day they met. I found out because I walked in on them kissing when they were sixteen and seventeen. Tino just about killed me for it because I didn't knock."

Lukas smirked. "Sounds like something you'd do. You don't seem to care much for the privacy of others, do you?" He figured that must be why Mathias was always trying to talk to him in the showers. He sighed. "So what do you say we head to the house before too long? I can finish packing my things right now and we'll leave once you're packed."

"Sounds like a plan, Lukas," Mathias said. "How much do you have?"

"I just have a backpack of things, not much," Lukas answered. "I pawned a lot of things for money to go to England. That's why I'm always washing my clothes." He blushed and looked away. "But it's fine. Go pack. I'll meet you at the door."

Lukas turned on his heel and rushed to his quarters after seeing the surprised and devastated look on Mathias's face. He didn't want any more pity from him. His heart wouldn't be able to take any more kindness from Mathias. It would explode from the weird swelling.

He sighed as he threw his belongings into his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. The bunk he had slept in for the past few months held no sentimental value to him. Barely anything ever did these days. He had no problem leaving the sleeping quarters without looking back. After all, that's all his life had ever seemed to have been, leaving without looking back. The only constants in his life were his mother and brother.

But now there was Mathias. Was he a new constant? If he were to suddenly leave Lukas's life, would it hurt? Lukas couldn't help but wonder that as he sat on a bench by the door, waiting for Mathias to join him. The swelling feeling in his chest might go away if Mathias did. But what if it just got worse? What if it was just replaced with a hollow ache instead? Lukas shook his head, trying not to imagine that.

"What's going on?" Mathias asked, walking over. He had a larger backpack slung over his shoulder. "Are you okay, Lukas? You're shaking your head and look confused and something else, but I can't quite name it."

"Something else?" Lukas asked, standing up. He changed his expression to a blank one. At the moment, he couldn't afford to let his guard down around Mathias, even if he seemed so casual about Berwald and Tino. That was Berwald and Tino, and it didn't involve him personally. "It's nothing at all, Mathias. Let's get going."

Mathias shrugged and walked along with Lukas. "So are you excited for Saturday? It's a pretty big day for both of us, wouldn't you say? I heard the British military is desperate for pilots who are already trained."

"Why is that?" Lukas asked, looking up at him. He shivered a little and buttoned up his coat as the cold air greeted him when he opened the door and stepped outside.

"It's dangerous to be a fighter pilot, Lukas," Mathias sighed. "You have to promise me that you'll be careful."

"Why would I have to make a promise like that to you?" Lukas huffed, trying to control the racing of his heart. Was Mathias worried about him?!

"Well we're friends, aren't we?" Mathias asked him. "As your friend, I think I have a right to be concerned about your safety, right?"

That was right. Friends. That was all they would ever be. "I guess you have a point," Lukas sighed, wrapping his scarf around the lower half of his face as well as his neck. "Fine, I'll be careful, just so you don't have to break any bad news to my mother."

"Yeah, thanks for that," Mathias half-laughed. His face was red, but Lukas couldn't tell if it was because he was flushed from something or if it was from the cold, but he guessed it was from the cold. "And I'll promise the same to you."

Lukas smiled a little, feeling slightly relieved. "Thanks," he said. "At least I won't have to have any awkward conversations with your family either."

.

Emil ran to Lukas the moment he saw him. "Lukas!" he cried out. "I was so worried that you forgot me!"

"How could I ever forget my baby brother?" Lukas asked him. "Especially if he's as cute as you?" He picked up the small, silvery-haired boy and kissed the side of his head. "You, Emil, are definitely one person I know I could never forget."

Emil grinned widely and looked over at Mathias as he closed the door. "Hi, Mathias! What are you guys coming back here in the middle of the week for?"

"We're done with training," Mathias told him. "Your big brother here is a certified fighter pilot." Mathias placed a proud hand on Lukas's shoulder, which caused Lukas to blush.

"Really?!" Emil excitedly squealed, eyes widening with excitement. "You did it!" He wrapped his arms around Lukas's shoulders and hugged him rightly. "Good job, Lukas! I knew you could do it!"

Elsa wandered into the living room. "I thought I heard something," she said. "What's going on?"

"He did it, Mama!" Emil excitedly said, turning to Elsa. His violet eyes were bright. "Lukas is a fighter pilot now!"

Elsa's eyes widened as she smiled widely and rushed over to her sons, hugging both of them. "That's wonderful news! I'm so proud of you, Lukas!" She kissed her elder son's cheeks. "You did it! That is wonderful news!"

Mathias stepped away to the side to let them have their moment as a family. He went to put his bag in his room and get his stuff situated.

Elsa pulled away. "Lukas, you make me so proud! I guess this means you'll be heading to England soon, doesn't it?"

"Saturday," Lukas confirmed with a nod.

"No!" Emil whined. "No, don't leave me!" He wrapped his arms around Lukas and clung to him. "You can't leave like that! Take me with you!"

"Emil, you know I can't do that," Lukas softly told him. "But I came here to spend a few days with you before I leave. Just for you." He hugged his little brother, feeling his heart break slightly at the hurt in Emil's voice. "I came here for you, Em."

"Liar!" Emil wailed. "Put me down!" He began to flail a little, fighting Lukas to put him down.

"Stop that," Lukas scolded. "Let me talk to you, Emil. I'm not going to put you down until you listen to me. I could hold you all day, don't think I won't." He felt the satisfaction of winning when Emil stopped struggling. "Do you want to know why I have to go to England?"

"Yeah," Emil whined, scrubbing at his eyes with his sleeve, trying to stop the tears that were already escaping.

"There are some bad guys out there," Lukas told him. "And it's my job to stop them from coming after you. Will you let me keep you safe from the bad guys? I promise that once they're all gone, I'll come right back to you."

Emil sniffled a little. "Promise?"

Lukas smiled at him. "Would I lie to you, Emil?" He watched his little brother think it over and then shake his head. "That's what I thought. Everything is going to be okay." His arms drew Emil in for a hug as he rocked him. "You are too precious to me for me not to return to, Emil."

Elsa smiled at her sons. "Sigrid and I were just preparing dinner. I will go and tell her that you and Mathias have arrived. She will be so happy to hear so. Could you watch your brother for awhile? Berwald and Tino were up out chopping firewood all afternoon so we decided to let them nap this afternoon."

Lukas smiled at his little brother. "Sure thing, Mom." He walked over to the couch and sat on it with Emil on his lap as Elsa returned to the kitchen. His mind began to wander to Berwald and Tino. Did his mother know that they were together? Did his mother care that they were together? Would she care if she knew how he felt about Mathias?

.

Tino was up before Berwald and joined Lukas in the living room. He sat in an armchair with a book that held a collection of Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales. "Emil, do you want to hear a story?"

Emil smiled widely and positioned himself on Lukas's lap to where he could see Tino well. "Yeah!" he excitedly said, bouncing excitedly.

Lukas moved Emil a little closer to his knees as he bounced. "What story are you going to read?" he asked. "I've read some of those fairy tales, but not all of them."

"Read _The Little Mermaid_!" Emil excitedly said. "I don't think Lukas knows that one!"

Tino looked to Lukas. "Have you heard that one?"

"I honestly don't think I have," Lukas admitted. "I have never been much of a fairy tale reader."

"It's my favorite!" Emil told Lukas, turning to look at him, violet eyes wide.

Tino smiled at Emil. "This one is mine and Berwald's favorite, too. It's the first thing we ever had in common, the fact that this was our favorite story."

Lukas listened closely to the story. He didn't think he'd like fairy tales very much, but this one seemed a little different. A mermaid who wanted to be a human was a nice twist, and then when she died at the end it took Lukas a moment to realize that was the real ending and that Tino wasn't just messing with him.

"Surprised?" Tino asked him. "That is the way this fairy tale ends. There is magic in this world, but everything has a price that not all are willing to pay. Sometimes it's best to make your own magic. All it would have taken was True Love's Kiss."

"Do you believe in True Love's Kiss, Tino?" Emil asked, cocking his head to the side. He yawned and leaned against Lukas, eyelids heavy.

"I do," he said with a smile. "True Love's Kiss holds all kinds of magic in it."

"But do you think it's real?" Emil asked.

"That's a secret," Tino said with a wink. "What about you, Lukas? What do you think of all that fairy tale stuff?"

Lukas blushed a little from being put on the spot. "Me? Well I guess it's all a matter of perspective. It depends on if you believe in magic or not."

"And do you?" Tino asked him, looking at him expectantly.

"I do," Lukas said, looking down at his now-sleeping brother and smiling. "I believe that there is magic in this world. It's everywhere. You just have to know where to look for it."

"Good answer, Lukas," Tino said. A wide smile suddenly crossed his face. "Berwald, you're awake," he happily said. "Come sit with us! Emil just fell asleep." He looked expectantly up at the tall Swedish man as he crossed the room to come sit by him. His smile widened as Berwald gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Did you sleep well?"

Lukas didn't hear anything after that. It was like there was a weird ringing in his ears. Did they just kiss in front of him? Were they that open about it if Emil wasn't awake or paying attention? His mother must definitely know then.

"I was just telling Lukas about how I believe in True Love's Kiss," Tino told Berwald, reaching over to hold his hand.

Lukas snapped back to reality when he heard his name. "Yeah, he was," he confirmed. "Why do you believe in it, Tino?"

"I came to live here when I was sixteen years old," Tino began. "It was right after Helsinki was bombed in 1939. Unfortunately, I was the only survivor in my entire neighborhood, and the trauma of that was enough to cause me to forget how to speak." He looked up at Lukas, who frowned. "Oh, don't do that. It was long ago, it's okay now. Anyway, after living here for a few weeks, I fell in love with Berwald, but he wasn't aware of it. A month or two after we started kissing randomly, he kissed me one morning, and there was something different about that kiss. I couldn't quite place what it was, though. But that morning, after not speaking for months, I was finally able to talk again. And I used some of my first words to tell him that I loved him." Tino looked fondly up at Berwald. "I've never had eyes for another person."

Lukas felt oddly inspired by Tino's story. "True Love's Kiss must be very powerful to both of you."

"You have no idea," Berwald said, unable to take his eyes off of the Finnish man sitting next to him. "Next month, it'll be four years since I met Tino. And I can't imagine my life without him."

Lukas smiled. "I'm glad you two have each other."

"We just hope that people as great as you and Mathias find love like ours," Tino said, smiling. "A love that lasts like ours did. We've been going strong for nearly four years." He admirably gazed up at Berwald. "I wish you great happiness, Lukas."

"Thank you, Tino," Lukas said. "You are very kind."

Mathias walked in. "I see you two have come out to Lukas," he said, seating himself next to Lukas on the couch.

Lukas tensed up a bit. "You have no tact, do you?"

Tino gave Lukas a knowing look. "I knew it," Lukas heard Tino whisper to Berwald, who nodded to him. Tino smiled at Lukas.

Lukas gave Tino a confused look. "I heard you, you know," he said.

"Just a bet we had going," Tino simply said, narrowing his eyes at Berwald. "And I won it. That's all."

Had they been betting on his sexuality? Lukas suddenly felt very nervous around Tino and Berwald. Had they known about him all along? Was their bet about if he felt that way about Mathias? How had they known? Had Tino noticed him tense up when Mathias sat down? What did that mean anyway?

"What were you betting on?" Mathias asked.

Berwald glared at Mathias. "It's a bet you wouldn't understand," he sighed to Mathias. "You never understand anything we do anyway."

"It's because you and Thumbelina over there are fucking weird," Mathias defended.

Tino groaned. "Mathias, that was four years ago. Stop calling me that. Let it go."

"I bet you still dance out in the snow," Mathias teased. "You just do it when you know I'm not around, Tino."

The Finnish man turned bright red. "Berwald, make him shut up."

Berwald sighed. "Mathias, please stop. Don't you have better things to talk about other than embarrassing things Tino has done when he was younger?"

Lukas was confused and was hoping for a change of subject, so he decided to do it himself. "We're leaving for England on Saturday. We graduated training today."

Tino's eyes widened. "You're a licensed fighter pilot?!" He smiled widely. "Congratulations, Lukas! I'm so happy for you!" His voice went a lot quieter when Emil stirred in his sleep. "Shit, I forgot he was asleep. That's great to hear. I'm so happy for you, Lukas. That's exciting news!"

Lukas was glad that he had decided to let his family move in with Mathias's. They were great people, and he felt comfortable with them. He knew that his mother and Emil were in good hands as he easily spent the afternoon with Berwald, Tino, and Mathias.

Tino grabbed Lukas's arm as they walked toward the kitchen for dinner. "Lukas, I need clarification for something," he softly said, letting everyone else walk ahead of them.

"What is it?" Lukas asked, turning to Tino.

"You're gay, aren't you?" Tino softly asked. "And it's Mathias that you have your heart set on, right?"

Lukas couldn't help but feel put on the spot. He struggled to find his voice, but his face said it all.

"I knew it," Tino said. "That means I won the bet. Now, Ber and I aren't sure about Mathias's feelings because we've never seen him express a romantic interest in anyone, so we have no idea what kind of person he's interested in. Sorry we can't be much help, but we'll be cheering you on because we like you." He winked at him and patted him on the back. "Go for it, Lukas. The worst he would ever do is not love you back."


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days passed faster than Lukas would have liked. Before he knew it, he was headed for England with Mathias. The boat ride made him nervous, though. He didn't like the constant rocking or swaying on the sea and would prefer to be in a plane, yet Mathias had insisted on them going together. Lukas couldn't refuse that, so there he was, stuck on a boat and feeling more nauseous than he had ever felt in his entire life.

"You doing okay?" Mathias asked, walking over. "You look extremely pale." He put a hand to Lukas's forehead. "Let me guess, you're seasick?"

"How could you tell?" Lukas asked, resisting the urge to vomit. He had been fighting back the sickening bile for hours. "How much longer are we on this stupid boat?"

"Maybe for a few more days," Mathias answered. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Days?" Lukas gasped out. He ran up to the deck and looked out on the railing. It was true. He didn't see any land in sight.

Mathias followed after him. "Lukas, you're acting odd. Are you okay?"

Lukas bent over the railing and vomited into the sea. "I just can't do this," he sighed out. "I can't do all of this fucking rocking and shit."

Mathias frowned. "Motion sickness," he observed. "Why don't you go lay down? I can show you to the bunks."

"Yeah," Lukas softly said, nodding. "I think that would work." He began to walk down the staircase to the lower levels. "Please show me to the bunks, Mathias. I feel sick."

"I hope you feel better soon," Mathias said, leading Lukas down a corridor with many doors. He stopped at one with a "12" on it. "This is our room."

Lukas blushed as Mathias unlocked the door. He hadn't realized they would be sharing a room. His jaw dropped when he saw their bags in the room underneath a bunk bed with a small nightstand. That was all that was in there. That's all there was room for. "Pretty close quarters, huh?" he softly said.

"Which bunk would you like?" Mathias asked.

"I'll take the bottom one," Lukas said, flopping onto it. Once he was lying down, it did help with the constant rocking. He barely noticed it as he curled up under the blankets. "This really does help, Mathias," he softly said, voice muffled from the blankets.

"I'm glad," Mathias said, climbing up to his bunk. "You can lay there the whole time if you'd like. I can let you know when we're close."

"Could you?" Lukas asked. He personally hated being lazy and lying around, but he had to for this time. His hand went to his forehead. "I really don't like this rocking motion, Mathias."

"Do you want me to get you a bucket or something?" Mathias asked. He personally didn't notice the rocking at all and could walk around just like he could on land. He jumped down from his bunk, causing Lukas to groan. "What?"

"Stop walking around like that," Lukas groaned. "It's like you're bragging that you can walk around and I can't." He sighed and rolled over to his side, huffing out to himself. "But yeah, a bucket would be nice."

"I thought so," Mathias said. "I'll be right back. Stay there." He chuckled. "Well it's not like you can really go anywhere anyway."

"Just go get the fucking bucket," Lukas snapped, glaring at Mathias.

Mathias laughed as he left the room. "I'm on it, Lukas."

Lukas laid there and grumbled to himself for a few moments about the frustrating Dane. Yet why was Mathias so charming at the same time. It almost made Lukas regret yelling at him. Almost. Lukas still felt Mathias deserved all of the yelling most of the time. After all, it was Mathias's frustratingness that triggered the yelling. But to Lukas it seemed as if Mathias enjoyed being yelled at by Lukas, and that was something that Lukas didn't exactly understand.

Then again there was that side of Mathias that Lukas just adored. It was the crazy hairstyles that he would sculpt his hair into, or that wide smile of his. Maybe it was also those icy blue eyes that made Lukas feel like he was flying. He just didn't know what he was doing whenever Mathias looked at him. He forgot everything except for Mathias and would revert to being a babbling idiot if he didn't have all of his wits immediately return to him.

"One day, I'll tell you," Lukas softly vowed to himself. "I'll tell you exactly what I feel."

Mathias came back in a few minutes later. He was carrying a small, white bucket. "Here you go. The crew member I ran into sends his regards."

"What did you tell him?" Lukas asked, fighting the urge to sit up and beat the shit out of the smiling Dane. He knew he would get nauseous if he even did so much as lift his head from the pillow.

"I told him that I had a friend feeling a little seasick," Mathias said. "It's not that big of a deal. He said that made you the fifth passenger since we took off. So it's a common thing on these ships. You're fine. It's nothing to freak out over."

Lukas sighed. "Thank you for the bucket, Mathias." He wanted to say much more than that, but he just couldn't yet. He wanted to tell Mathias what he truly felt toward him. Those feelings he had been feeling for the past couple months wanted to make themselves known, but he felt it wasn't the best idea yet.

"You're welcome," Mathias said, grinning. "Mind if I sit on your bunk and keep you company?"

"I actually think I might like that," Lukas admitted. "Go ahead and sit with me. I won't argue with it." He didn't include how badly he wanted Mathias to sit with him, hoping that Mathias would just sit down with him for the rest of the afternoon.

"Sorry that you're not feeling well, Lukas," Mathias sighed, sitting on the edge of Lukas's bed. "I hope you get to feeling better soon." He frowned. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Just keep me company," Lukas sighed, trying to ignore the sickening aftertaste of vomit in his mouth. He knew there was nothing to make that go away that wouldn't make him even more sick than before. "That's all I really want right now."

Mathias smiled. "So you _actually_ want me around to keep you company?" he teasingly asked. "I'll have to remember that."

Lukas really wished Mathias wouldn't tease him like that. It was getting him slightly flustered. "Oh, shut up," he sighed. He really hoped he wouldn't end up blushing. That would be the death of him. Then Mathias would know something was up, that was for sure.

Mathias grinned at him like a child. It infuriated Lukas how carefree he seemed. Why did Mathias get to be all carefree when Lukas would puke his guts out if he even stood up for longer than five minutes? It just wasn't fair! But at least Lukas had company.

.

A few days later, Lukas managed to stumble off of the ship with no help from Mathias, even though the Danish man offered to help him twice. He was still pale and not feeling his best, but he didn't want any help from anyone else. He was determined to do this all on his own.

"Look, you really don't look good," Mathias said after a couple blocks of walking. "We should just take a break and let you get used to land again soon."

"Stop worrying about me," Lukas sighed. "I'm fine." He was hit by a sudden wave of nausea and bent over, retching at the side of the road. There was nothing in his stomach to come up, though, so he was safe. "See? There is nothing left to come up. Not even bile, Mathias."

"You know, with most people, I would be disgusted by this kind of talk," Mathias began, "but with you it's different." He sighed. "I just wish you could be feeling better."

"I said to stop worrying," Lukas irritably snapped. He frowned and put a hand to his forehead. "Mathias, just listen to me. I'll be fine by tomorrow once I'm used to land." He started coughing at he retched into the street once more. "Just don't worry about me."

"No," Mathias said. "Fuck that! I _will_ worry! You have no one but me here, Lukas. Who else is going to worry about you except for me?" He sighed. "So if you have a problem with me worrying about you, you can just shut the fuck up, because I'm not stopping."

Lukas felt a wave of relief wash over him, yet he didn't show it, knowing that Mathias would never let him live it down. "Fine. Be that way then."

"I will," Mathias insisted, crossing his arms. He frowned at Lukas, yet the worried expression on his face didn't leave. "Lukas, you're my best friend and the only person I know and have to talk to here. Of course I will fucking worry about you, okay?"

Lukas sighed. "I said fine," he groaned before coughing and retching once more. "Can we just find the military recruitment place?" He narrowed his eyes and looked ahead and saw two men walking down the street with a small Asian boy in a school uniform with a blanket wrapped around him. "Why don't we ask them?"

Mathias smiled. "Yeah, they're the only people I've seen since we've gotten off that damned ship anyway." He hurried over to them, grabbing Lukas's arm and pulling him along. "Excuse me!" he called out to the men. "Could we ask you a question?"

The taller man turned to them. He had blond hair and glasses. His blue eyes examined them as his shorter, blond companion sized them up with his emerald green eyes, placing a protective hand on the small Asian boy's shoulder.

"Sure thing!" the bespectacled man said. He smiled at them. "What is it I we can help you with?"

"Alfred, he's cold," the shorter man said, picking up the boy and hugging him close.

"Hey, I'll meet you at the flat," the first man, Alfred, said to the shorter man. "Get Leon home. I forgot how cold it is. I'll help these two and then be right there, okay?"

The shorter man sighed. "All right," he said. "Just don't take too long. I know how you love to talk to strangers."

"Oh, you know me so well," Alfred said with a smile. "Now go, get him home. I can see him shivering from here." He turned to Mathias and Lukas once the two people he was with continued walking. "What can I help you two gentlemen with?"

"Do you know where the military recruitment building is?" Mathias asked. "My friend and I just finished our training up in Sweden and are planning to join the British military."

Alfred's eyes widened. "You're serious? Wow! I'm in the American military! I can take you right there! It's down this street here!" He smiled widely, extending his hand. "I'm Private Alfred F. Jones! Pleasure to meet you! For a Swede, your English is great!"

"I'm actually Danish, and he's Norwegian," Mathias said, shaking Alfred's hand. "I'm Mathias Køhler, and this is my friend Lukas Bondevik."

"You sound like my brother," Alfred laughed. "He's Canadian, and he always corrects people when they say he's American." He grinned widely and led them down the street.

Lukas began coughing and retching once more, doubling over on the side of the street.

Alfred stopped in his tracks. "Hey! Woah! Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's getting used to being back on land," Mathias explained. "He was sick the whole time we were on the ship here."

"That's terrible," Alfred sympathized, frowning. "Does he need any help or anything?"

"He'll bite your head off if you offer it to him," Mathias warned. "You might not want to right now."

Lukas frowned. Was that how Mathias saw him, just some angry Norwegian guy? It hurt a little to hear him say something like that so casually, but he decided to shrug it off. Mathias probably didn't mean it in a hurtful way anyway. He just wished he could talk long enough to join the conversation with Mathias and Alfred, but he knew it would only make him retch and cough more. It bothered him even more. Mathias seemed to get along very well with Alfred, and it almost made him jealous how quickly the two just clicked. A jealous pang hit Lukas right in the heart. But why was he so jealous?

.

As Lukas and Mathias got to the base, Lukas felt exhausted. He was at least relieved that Alfred was gone, yet he regretted that he was unable to say a word to him. Alfred seemed nice enough, and it made him wish he could become friends with him. But Lukas always had trouble being friends with people. It partially made him wonder what made Mathias even want to be his friend.

"Mathias, am I as unfriendly as you made me sound?" Lukas softly asked that night as he laid down in his bunk. He was once more on the bottom bunk while Mathias was on the top due to there not being enough room in the separate barracks for them.

"As I made you sound?" Mathias asked. "What do you mean?" He poked his head down from the top bunk, hanging upside down so he could look at Lukas.

Lukas frowned. "You made me sound really unfriendly today is all," he softly said. "And I was wondering if that was how you really see me is all."

Mathias's eyes widened. "How about we take a walk?" he asked. He looked toward the window, and the sun was still up, just beginning to set. "I want to talk to you about something I should have told you back in Sweden. But it's best if it's just us."

Lukas sat up. "I think I can handle it," he said, nodding when he didn't feel nausea. He slowly got to his feet. "Let's go on that walk, Mathias."

The Dane giddily jumped down from the top bunk, grinning at Lukas as he landed in front of him. "Let's get going," he said, smiling.

The conversation didn't even start until the two were well away from the base and away from anyone. They were walking through the woods and found a nice clearing with a log they could sit on and talk.

"Now what did you want to talk about?" Lukas asked, sitting gingerly on the log. He didn't trust it. It looked old, and he didn't want to fall through the bark into a rotted out middle. Yet as he sat on it, it seemed sturdy enough.

"Look I don't really know how to say it," Mathias said, looking at Lukas. He sat at Lukas's feet and leaned against the log. "But I guess I've felt weird since I met you…"

Lukas's heart sped up a bit when Mathias said that. Could he be hinting at…? No, he couldn't be...That was impossible! "What are you talking about?"

"I don't care if you reject me from your life, and I know we're in a dangerous part of Europe to be talking about this, but I'll just come out and say it," Mathias said. "I feel the same way about you that Berwald feels about Tino. I always have, but I had to suppress it because I've been scared of how you would feel about it."

"What makes you think you can tell me this now?" Lukas asked, trying to add a tone of annoyance to his voice. He doubted he was doing a good job since his voice sounded slightly higher than normal.

"Tino dropped me a hint when we left home," Mathias softly said. "But don't be mad at him. He was only trying to help."

"Damn that little Finn! You're right, he is the tiny, dangerous one!" Lukas raged, clenching his fists. His face was beet red, and he didn't know what to do. "I should've known better than to talk to him! But he just seemed so kind and trustworthy!"

Mathias nodded. "Don't be fooled. He knows what he's doing," he said. "I've lived with him for four years, Lukas." He was quiet for a moment. "So I don't know what to do now that you know." He took a deep breath. "I guess I just want to hear you say it."

"Hear me say what?" Lukas asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Tell me how you feel about me," Mathias simply said.

Lukas's heart rate skyrocketed in his chest. There was no way he could say it out loud, especially to his face! Who cared if Mathias openly admitted his own feelings? Good for Mathias! Lukas was an entirely different person! He shook his head.

"Why not?" Mathias asked. "I told you."

"I'm not good with words," Lukas softly said, shaking his head. "I can't say it, Mathias. Please don't make me."

Mathias thought for a moment. "Then show me."

Lukas was shocked for a moment. Could he do that? Could he trust himself to do that? Could he convey all of that to the magnificent Dane with the perfect smile? He reached down and caressed Mathias's cheek in his hand. His hands cupped Mathias's face and leaned down before softly pressing his lips to his.

It was an experience like one Lukas had never known in his life! He felt so alive as he kissed that beautiful Danish man! He couldn't help himself as he kissed those lips over and over. He was so overwhelmed by those secret desires for Mathias that he just couldn't stop. It was like a strange addiction, an addiction to those soft, pink lips.

"Wow, Lukas," Mathias breathed when they pulled apart for air. "You sure are something. I should ask you to show me things more often, huh?"

Lukas blushed bright red. "Sh-Shut up, Mathias," he stammered at him. "You told me to show you, so I did."

"You sure as hell fucking did!" Mathias agreed, laughing. "And I loved every moment of it!"

"Stop, you're embarrassing me," Lukas softly said. He looked down into his lap and blushed even more, having aroused himself without realizing it. His hands immediately flew over his crotch.

"Oh, Lukas," Mathias sighed. "You too?" He smiled at him and turned to face him, positioning himself between the Norwegian's legs. "How about I help you with that? I can do you a nice favor in exchange for a favor for myself."

Lukas shook his head. "Not tonight," he softly said. "How about tomorrow? This will go away soon enough." He was pained by it, but tried not to show it.

"Look, blue balls hurt, Lukas," Mathias said. "I am just as aware of that as you. Let me help you with it." He reached for the button of Lukas's pants.

Lukas placed his hand on top of Mathias's. "Fine," he said. "Do it. I won't stop you."

Mathias grinned up at him before unbuttoning and unzipping Lukas's pants and removing his length from them. He inspected the erect member before licking at it gently, Lukas gripping the bark of the log tightly as he tried to contain moans that threatened to escape his throat. Moments later, Mathias took the entire length into his mouth.

Lukas had never felt something like that before. He was so overcome with pleasure that his eyes rolled back and everything went out of focus other than the feeling of Mathias lightly sucking on his member. A long moan escaped his mouth as he reached down and ran his fingers through Mathias's hair as he continued moaning out. And when he hit his climax and release, he moaned out Mathias's name, filling Mathias's mouth.

Mathias spit it out onto the ground and looked at Lukas. "Those moans of yours," he said. "I want to hear more of them."

"You do?" Lukas panted, smiling. "How do you plan on doing that?"

"All in due time, Lukas," Mathias said, smiling. He stood and held out a hand to Lukas. "But we should probably head back to the base now."

Lukas adjusted himself in his pants and buttoned and zipped them back up. "What about you, Mathias?" he asked.

"I'm fine," he said. "What mattered was that you were taken care of." He gestured to his crotch, where nothing was showing at all. "See? I'm fine." He leaned in and kissed Lukas. "Let's head back, shall we?"

Lukas smiled. He was so happy that Mathias had finally confessed to him like that. It made him so happy that he felt like singing and dancing, and that's exactly what he did.

" _If I didn't care more than words can say,_

 _If I didn't care, would I feel this way?_

 _If this isn't love, then why do I thrill?_

 _And what makes my head go round and round_

 _While my heart stands still?_

 _If I didn't care, would it be the same?_

 _Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?_ " Lukas sang.

" _And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?_ " Mathias sang back.

" _Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?_ " they sang together before coming together to kiss.

And Lukas felt like, for the first time, he didn't need an airplane to fly.


	6. Chapter 6

_Late November, 1943, London, England_

Lukas sat out in the wooded area as he waited for Mathias to come and join him. He was holding a small jar of vaseline in his hands, looking down at it while biting at his lip. He knew that they had decided to finally have sex that day, and he knew that was what he wanted. Yet he couldn't figure out why he was so nervous about it. If it was what they both wanted, why was it that he couldn't stop the anxiety of what was to come from gnawing at his stomach.

Mathias came up behind Lukas and put his hands over his eyes. "Guess who," he laughed, smiling widely. He laughed more as Lukas pulled his hands down and stared up at him, an almost blank look in his eyes. "Are you excited?" he asked, sitting next to him and kissing his cheek softly.

Lukas blushed from both the kiss and the indirect acknowledgement of what they were going to do soon. "Yes," he shyly admitted, looking away. He hated the fact that he was so dreadfully shy. It was almost painful to him. No one else in his family was anywhere near as shy as he was.

"So am I," the Dane said, grinning to Lukas. He then hauled the much smaller Norwegian man into his lap with a soft grunt. "Now I have you all to myself," he said, a lustful look in his eyes. "I've been waiting for months for this day."

"Oh, you have?" Lukas asked disbelievingly. "Months? Really?"

"What? You don't believe me?" Mathias asked, sticking his lower lip out.

"If you keep doing that thing with your lip, it will stretch out and you'll trip over it," Lukas simply stated. He looked over at Mathias, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "But yeah, so have I…"

Mathias laughed. "It's so weird hearing you say that you've been waiting for this as well. I mean, I've never taken you for the sexual type at all, so I always thought I'd never have a chance with you." He leaned in and kissed Lukas's cheek. "But damn, do I love hearing you say it."

Lukas rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Can we just get on with it already? I'm developing a slight case of anxiety and I-" He didn't finish his sentence due to the fact that Mathias covered his mouth with his own.

Mathias had no intentions of stopping any time in the near future as his hands moved to Lukas's trousers, unbuttoning them. He slipped his tongue into Lukas's mouth as he reached into Lukas's boxers.

The Norwegian man moaned out softly and arched his back, gasping out when Mathias's fingers touched the tender skin of his member. He thrusted his hips slightly so it would go into Mathias's palm easier. His eyes fluttered closed as he opened his mouth wider for Mathias, feeling himself growing more and more aroused by the second.

Mathias found Lukas's odd behavior arousing, feeling himself growing harder and his own trousers becoming tighter in the groin area. He knew he would have to undo them soon. No, not soon. He had to do it at that moment. His hand went underneath Lukas and began to mess with the buttons on his trousers.

Lukas took a moment to move slightly and undo Mathias's buttons with a swift movement. He stuck his tongue into Mathias's mouth when the Dane gasped out in surprise. His hand reached into Mathias's pants and grabbed his length, squeezing slightly.

Mathias groaned out in pleasure. "Lukas," he half-moaned and half-whispered. He thrust his hips slightly and moaned out softly. "Your hands…"

"What about them?" Lukas softly asked, struggling to keep his voice even as Mathias stroked him. He moved to straddle Mathias's hips, making it easier for both of them. Soft moans escaped his mouth as he bucked his hips slightly. "God, Mathias, you're amazing!"

"I'm eager to please, my dear Lukas," he said, kissing along his lover's jawline and then down his neck. "And what I meant to say was your hands are almost magical. It's as if they have a magical feel to them." He trailed the kisses back up. "I've always gotten a magical vibe from you."

"Magic, you say?" Lukas asked between moans. "What about me is magical? Oh, God! Kiss me harder!" He moaned a little louder when Mathias did as told.

"There's some sort of Old Norse-y magical aura about you," Mathias tried to explain between kisses. "It's hard to explain." He looked up at Lukas as the Norwegian let out a light, airy laugh. "What?"

"It's just that my little brother thinks I'm magical," Lukas explained. He delicately stroked Mathias's length and licked down his neck, causing the Dane to shudder. "So I find it interesting that you find me magical as well."

"You've always been magical to me," Mathias said to him. He smiled, or at least tried to through the pleasure he was feeling. "Ever since the day we've met."

Lukas's mouth twitched into a slight smile as he thrust his hips toward Mathias's. He took his hand from Mathias's shaft and led it up to his tip, which he touched to his own tip. At the contact, he and Mathias both moaned out loudly and shuddered. He thrust his member into Mathias's as he mashed his lips into Lukas's. His tongue explored the inside of his lover's mouth and began to explore deeper and further.

Mathias gasped out. "I can't take it anymore," he sighed. "I have to have you. I have to."

Lukas pulled away, eyes widening. "Yes," he agreed. "I can hardly stand it either." He stood and walked over to a tree. "Can we do it standing up, Mathias?" He still held the jar of cold cream in his hand as he walked over to a tree and hugged it gently. "I have the cold cream ready."

"We can do it standing up," Mathias agreed, walking over. He took the jar from Lukas and dipped his fingers in before coating his member in it, shuddering at the feeling of it. He pulled the back of Lukas's trousers and boxers down. "Are you ready?"

Lukas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes," he softly said. "I'm ready." He then cringed when he felt Mathias's fingers go inside of him.

"Am I hurting you?" Mathias asked, concerned. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Lukas.

"No," Lukas gasped. "I just need to get used to this feeling is all." As soon as his body adjusted to it, he felt amazing. He felt like he wanted more. "Mathias, more," he softly said. "I want more."

Mathias removed his fingers and then paused. "Are you ready for this?" he asked. "It's bigger than my fingers, I can assure you of that," he softly said.

"Just fuck me," Lukas impatiently snapped.

Mathias put one last coat of cold cream on his member before inserting it. He cringed at Lukas's small cry of pain. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, panicked, as he tried to ignore the pleasure he was feeling.

Lukas shook his head, biting his lip. He was mentally cursing himself for crying out. It was true, Mathias was larger than his fingers, but Lukas was now feeling only pleasure coursing through his body. And he was loving every minute of it. He wanted more of it. "More," he practically begged. "I want more, Mathias."

Mathias blinked in surprise. "If you're sure," he said before he began slowly thrusting into him.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Lukas scoffed. "I know you can go faster than that."

And so it continued between the two for a few more minutes until they both leaned against the tree, panting. They had both pulled up their trousers in case someone were to come upon them, but neither had felt more in love than they did at that moment.

"I told you I was fine," Lukas stated, reaching over for Mathias's hand.

Mathias laughed airily. "I feel amazing," he said. "And it's all thanks to you, Lukas. You make me feel amazing." He leaned over and kissed him. "And how are you feeling?"

"Just fantastic," Lukas said, squeezing Mathias's hand. "We should definitely do this more often. I would love it."

"I concur," Mathias agreed with a nod. He sighed out happily. "You're amazing, Lukas. You feel amazing. You taste amazing. I just...I…" He bit his lip. "I love you."

Lukas's eyes widened in the realization of what Mathias had just said. "You...You love me?" he softly asked. Tears filled his eyes. He never thought he would ever have his feelings reciprocated so quickly. "I never thought I would hear you say that…"

"Why would you think that?" Mathias asked, confused. "I've been dying to say that for so long, but I had to wait for the right moment."

"I've loved you for awhile now," Lukas admitted. "I just had no way to tell you." He blushed. "So today I showed you." He crawled over to Mathias and sat on his lap. "Was that a satisfactory way of letting you know, my love?" he asked, caressing Mathias's cheek.

Mathias groaned softly in pleasure. "Lukas, it was much, much more than satisfactory," he said. "You were so perfect." He nuzzled Lukas's hand and smiled widely. "You've always been perfect to me. Ever since we've met, I've been trying to find a way to express to you how I feel."

Lukas replaced his hand with his own cheek, nuzzling Mathias's face with his own. "I love you too," he softly said before kissing Mathias's lips, his favorite addiction. His hand caressed Mathias's jawline as they kissed, feeling the slight stubble along it.

Mathias pulled Lukas closer as they kissed, pushing his tongue through his lover's lips. He smiled into it when Lukas opened his mouth, allowing him access. His tongue explored Lukas's mouth, taking in every curve and texture of it.

Lukas softly moaned, arching his back slightly. He broke off the kiss. "I think we've had enough of all of that," he softly panted. A small smile played on his lips as he looked up at Mathias. He held the Dane's face in his hands as he struggled to catch his breath. "You take my breath away, Mathias."

"Well I'll take that as a compliment," Mathias said, smiling. He panted as well, trying to catch his breath. "And you're right. I think sex is enough for today."

A small laugh escaped the Norwegian man's lips. He didn't realize he had laughed until he saw the smile on Mathias's face. "What?" he asked, playing it off as if he hadn't done anything.

"You should laugh more often," Mathias told him. "You have a nice laugh, you know."

Lukas blushed and looked away. "Thanks," he said, embarrassed.

"Don't tell me you're getting embarrassed now," Mathias laughed. "You're fine." He cuddled Lukas closer and sighed out happily. "I could easily live like this. With you. Forever."

"I feel the same," Lukas sighed out, leaning against Mathias. "I never want this night to end."

"Why is that?" Mathias asked.

"My first flight is tomorrow," Lukas answered. "It's my first real mission, and I'm scared out of my mind. My nerves are shot when it comes down to it. I've never done a real mission with real enemies out there. I'm terrified that I'll be shot down or something."

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Lukas," Mathias said with a smile. "You'll be just fine. Want to know how I know that?"

Lukas nodded and looked up at him. "Yes," he softly said, becoming less nervous. "I do."

"It's because you're Lukas Bondevik, and I believe in you," Mathias said, smiling. "I believe that you can do this. You're very smart. And when you focus, I know you can do anything you put your mind to. So yes, you'll do just fine tomorrow."

Lukas smiled a little more. "Thanks, Mathias. I needed that." He leaned up and kissed Mathias's cheek. "I love you."

Mathias smiled to himself. "I love you, too. Good luck tomorrow."

.

Lukas was high up in the clouds the next day with the rest of the British air force. His squad was flying out very far, but he seemed to have fallen out of formation and gone off course. He had no idea where he was and lost connection with everyone else. By that point, he was beyond scared as he tried to find his way back to his squad.

"Squad leader, do you copy?" he said into his radio. His voice remained level and calm, masking the intense fear he was feeling. Having no idea where he was, he didn't know what planes were friends and what planes were foes. "Squad leader!" Still no response. This was not good.

A plane flew past Lukas, but it didn't look familiar to him. His heart began to race as two more flew past. This wasn't good at all. Were they enemy planes? Lukas began to silently panic. He was so scared that he couldn't even think straight.

Suddenly something hit one of his wings and his plane began to wobble a lot in the air as smoke billowed before his windshield. Lukas felt as if he were flying through a lot of turbulence, but he knew that it was just damage to his wing. He was terrified, but he just couldn't do anything. His other wing was suddenly hit and Lukas let out a sudden cry of fright, yet he mentally reminded himself to remain calm.

The plane was in a steady downfall, and Lukas had to close his eyes and brace himself for the impact as he tried to land it. Another hit to the bottom of the plane, and Lukas was nearly certain the enemy had taken out his landing gear. They really wanted to kill him. He blinked open his eyes and noticed that he was heading onto the land in front of a small cottage. All he could do was hope that he didn't hit the cottage.

The impact shattered the windows, sending glass shards flying at Lukas from all directions. He put his arms up to protect his face, but it wasn't much use. He could feel the glass embedded in his arms and every part of him that wasn't covered. But now was not the time to cry out in pain. He had to get to safety and fast. If he didn't, he knew the enemy was going to kill him.

Lukas moved his arms from his face and looked around. He fumbled with his seatbelt and got free from it within moments. Ignoring the pain of the glass in his legs and the rest of his body, he shakily stood and managed to climb out of the plane, only managing to get a few cuts on his hands from the broken glass.

He looked toward the cottage and saw a man and a woman standing outside of it. The man had dark brown hair with a part that stuck up in the front, and the woman had long, tawny hair. Lukas stumbled toward them.

"Please," he begged in English. "Please, you have to help me! I won't hurt you! Please! I didn't do anything wrong!" He fell to his knees, the pain in his legs too unbearable to take by that point. He had never felt a pain like this before in his life.

The woman looked to the man and spoke to him rapidly in a language that Lukas did not understand. She nodded a few times and then she and the man rushed over to him. They each gently grabbed one of his arms and pulled him to his feet.

"The planes have flown away for a moment," the man said in a thick German accent. "But they will be back. Please help us as best as you can. We can get you to safety if you can help us by trying to walk."

Lukas nodded. "Thank you." He ignored the pain in his legs and stumbled along with the man and woman into the house. "You have no idea how grateful I am."

"It is nothing," the woman said. She supported Lukas as the man went and opened a part of the wall, revealing a small room that wouldn't exist to a person who didn't originally know it was there. "Now, we're going to hide you in this room. We'll need you to stand up or a little while until all signs of danger are gone. Can you do that?"

Lukas nodded. "I think I can do that," he answered. He winced a little as he laced more of his weight in his legs. "How long will it take?"

"I'm not sure," the woman honestly answered. Her pea green eyes widened when she heard the planes landing outside. She turned to the man. "Roderich, help me get him in there!"

The man rushed over and helped lead Lukas into the small room. "Whatever you do, don't lean against the walls," he warned before closing Lukas in.

Lukas looked around the tiny room. His legs ached and he wanted to lean against a wall so bad, but he needed to pay attention to that man's warning. The man and woman seemed to understand more about these things than he did.

Soon there was a loud knock on the door and muffled voices speaking once more in that language that Lukas didn't understand. He did notice that it sounded like German. That scared him even more. He was shot down by Germans! His heart pounded as he heard footsteps all around the room he was in.

Then the knocking and pounding began. Lukas then understood why the man told him not to lean against the walls. His heart wouldn't stop pounding as he began to feel lightheaded. This was not good. He hoped the Germans would leave soon.

Just as Lukas was starting to lose consciousness, he heard the voices fade and the front door open and shut. He hoped that meant it all was over. The wall opened and the woman hurried in. She had a worried expression on her face before it blurred to Lukas and everything went black. All he heard after that was her horrified scream.

.

 _Two Days Later, Small Austrian Town, 1943_

Lukas woke up on a soft bed in an unfamiliar room. He looked around for his mother. She had to be somewhere. "Mom!" he called out in Norwegian. He moved his arm and winced, gasping out in pain. His arms and legs were on fire. He looked to see that they were bandaged up with no skin showing at all. "Mom!" he called out again, his voice cracking with fear.

The woman with tawny hair entered the room. "Mr. Bondevik, you're awake," she softly said in English. "I'm glad to know that you're okay."

Lukas began to worry. How did he know English? He had never studied it, yet he knew exactly what she was saying. "How do you know my name?" he asked, looking at her. He pulled the blanket up over him.

The woman pulled out his pilot's license from her pocket. "It says so right here. Your name is Lukas Bondevik. You are twenty-three years old, born on May 17, 1920."

"No, that can't be right," Lukas said, shaking his head slowly. "That can't be right at all. I'm only seventeen…"

"What's that?" the woman asked.

"It's only 1937, right?" Lukas asked, looking up at her. "There's no way it can be six years later. My mom just got married."

"I don't know anything about that, but it's 1943. You're a pilot for the British air force, and you were shot down two days ago," the woman said. "Now, about me, my name is Elizaveta Edelstein. My husband's name is Roderich Edelstein. We saved you from the Germans."

"How did I get to the British air force?" Lukas asked, trying to wrap his head around the idea of him even being in the sky in a plane.

"I have no idea, Mr. Bondevik," Elizaveta softly said. "Are you hungry at all?"

Lukas thought about it. His stomach was hurting. "Yes," he decided. He wondered what kind of food Elizaveta and Roderich would feed him.

"I'll give you really easy to digest food," she softly said. "Maybe some toast and fruit? Does that sound good?"

Lukas nodded. "That sounds perfect," he softly said. His stomach began to growl at just the thought of it. He wondered what kind of fruit they would give him. But he honestly didn't care at the moment. He just really wanted food.

"Elizaveta?" Lukas asked, suddenly feeling the pain of it. "Why does my head hurt so bad?"

"Well after we rescued you, you passed out and you had a pretty nasty fall," Elizaveta softly said. "Since I am skilled in nursing, I was able to patch you up. I also took care of the cuts on your arms and legs and torso." She frowned. "I am so sorry that you had to go through that."

Lukas shrugged. "At least the worst is over, right?" He sighed. "But what am I supposed to do now? I don't know where my mom is. If it really is six years later, then I don't even know what's going on…"

"Roderich and I can try to catch you up," Elizaveta sighed. "Well at least on world events." She bit her lip, worried. "I just hope we don't upset you." Her shoulders shrugged. "We'll get you caught up as best as we can, but the rest will be up to you, Mr. Bondevik."

"Call me Lukas," he said. "I would prefer to be on familiar terms with you."

Elizaveta smiled. "Thank you, Lukas," she said. "I would prefer that as well." She nodded to him. "I'll go and get your food. Would you like some music? We have a small radio in here."

"That would be nice," he said.

Elizaveta turned on the radio and left the room.

A familiar-sounding tune filled the room, but it was the ending of the song. It was so familiar, yet Lukas couldn't put a name to it. He couldn't figure out how he knew it either. It sounded newer. He listened closely to the lyrics, hoping to find some meaning in it or some way to find out how he knew it.

" _Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?_ "

Familiar enough, but he still didn't know why it meant so much to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Lukas propped himself up on pillows as Roderich and Elizaveta sat on either side of the end of his bed. "So there's a huge war going on, and I was a fighter pilot?" he asked. He blinked in shock. "I don't know anything about flying planes." He sighed. "This is all so crazy…"

Elizaveta frowned. "Yes, there is a lot to take in, Lukas," she softly said. "I know that it may be hard, but I hope that your memories will come back to you with time."

"You're not the only one," Lukas groaned. "I don't even know how I'm speaking English. I've only spoken Norwegian and Swedish my whole life. That's all I ever cared enough to learn. And now suddenly I'm fluent in English as well? What the hell is going on with me?" He held his head in his hands in agony for a moment before looking up at the married couple. "I'm sorry, I'm still just in shock that this actually happened to me."

Roderich shrugged. "It's very understandable. You need time to process things, Lukas. Take all the time that you need."

Lukas smiled with gratitude. "Thank you very much. I appreciate your kindness and understanding." He sighed and leaned toward them. "You know, as I look at you two, I begin to feel and realize something."

"What is that, dear?" Elizaveta asked. She smiled at him.

"I think I'm in love with someone," Lukas said, trying to recall everything. His mind just wouldn't focus enough. "I just don't know what to do. I can't remember who it is. But I know how in love I am. And it makes my heart beat faster than it normally would."

Elizaveta giggled. "Isn't love a wonderful thing? Do you remember what she looks like?" She laughed a little harder when Lukas turned a deep shade of red and remained silent. "What is it, Lukas?"

He shooked his head. "I, uh, don't remember, uh…" Lukas shifted uncomfortably. "But I know one thing…"

"What's that?" she asked with interest.

"We're in confidence, correct?" Lukas asked.

"Well, I mean, we _did_ rescue from the Nazis already," Roderich reminded. "You can trust us, Lukas. Although I've already picked up on what you're about to say."

"You have?" Lukas asked, blinking.

"What is it?" Elizveta looked surprised. "Roderich, you know what he's going to say?"

"Would you like me to say it?" Roderich asked. "You look quite flustered." He smiled knowingly when Lukas nodded. "The person he is in love with is not a woman, Elizaveta. The person is a man. Lukas is interested in men."

Elizaveta's olive green eyes widened. "Oh!" she gasped. "Lukas, that is a beautiful thing! Men are wonderful, aren't they!"

Lukas had expected judgement, but was pleasantly surprised when Elizaveta responded. He smiled a little, feeling happy for the first time since he woke up. "The only thing I'm sad about is that I wish I knew what was going on in my life right now. I wish I knew where my mother was, or where my love was, so I could tell them that I'm okay." He sighed and lay heavily against the pillows. "I feel as if I'm forgetting another person, but I just can't remember who."

Roderich frowned. "Did you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, I'm an only child," Lukas said. "My mother is a very sickly woman. She always has been. Honestly, she wasn't even supposed to have me, so she could never have another child due to her health. But she just got married a couple months ago from what I remember, but that was six years ago, I guess." He frowned. "But no, there is no way I could ever have a little brother or sister. That would have killed my mother. And then I would have been left to raise the child." His eyes widened. "What if that _did_ happen?" He held his head in his hands. "What am I going to do? What if I have a little brother or sister that I'm raising? How can I find out what's going on in my life? Fuck!"

Roderich frowned. "Calm down, Lukas," he softly said. "First we need to focus on getting your health back to normal. That is our main goal at the moment. Once you're healthy, we can get you back to England. When you're back in England, you should be able to access your records through the military."

Lukas thought about it for a moment. "That's a great idea, Roderich," he said after a few moments. "I'm glad you can think clearly, because I know I can't right now. But where do I start getting better."

"Sleep always helps," Elizaveta told him. "Rest, Lukas. There will be plenty of time to worry later. Just lay back and sleep a little." She reached forward and brushed his hair back from his forehead and smiled. "We'll leave for now. We just want you to rest a little more. There is a bed on the table next to you. Ring it if you need us, okay?"

Lukas nodded and rested his head on the pillow. He felt his eyelids becoming heavy. "Okay," he said, yawning. "I'll be fine." He yawned once more and then fell asleep immediately.

.

 _Two Days Previous, London, England_

Mathias was waiting for the flights to come back, his usual thing, but he felt something odd that day. It felt as if his nerves were crawling around inside of his body. Maybe just by seeing Lukas, his nerves would settle and everything would feel better. All he had to do was see Lukas. That was all he wanted.

The pilots began to file past him, but Lukas was not among them. That sent Mathias's nerves racing faster. He noticed that they were all dead silent, whereas they were usually at least a little more talkative. Something was wrong, and Mathias was almost sure that it had to do with Lukas. It was making his blood turn cold.

He ran over to a pilot. "Where's Lieutenant Bondevik?" he asked, panicked. "I didn't see him come in!" His heart raced. He needed to know that Lukas was okay. That was all he cared about at that moment. All he wanted to know was that Lukas was safe.

The pilot looked over at him. "You're the bloke he came to England with, aren't you?" he asked. He frowned when Mathias nodded. "Well, he was shot down today. We were unable to recover a body…"

Mathias felt his head begin to spin. "No," he softly said. "No, that's a lie. You must be lying. He's not dead. Lukas can't be dead…" Of all people, Lukas was the last person he expected to die. Lukas couldn't be dead! He couldn't be! He couldn't just leave him, Elsa, and Emil like that! It wasn't fair! That was the last thing that needed to happen!

"Maybe you should go talk to someone," the man suggested. "Do you know anyone?"

Mathias felt numb. "Yeah," he said. "He won't get back until later, but I'm going to ask Private Jones to go out for a drink with me." All Mathias really wanted to do was go and hide under a blanket, or maybe even die so he could be with Lukas.

"You're not looking too great, Private Køhler," the man said. "Would you like me to walk you to your bunk? You should probably lie down." He sighed. "In war, death is a common thing. You'll get used to it one day."

Mathias felt like he could hear his heart physically break in his chest. It was the most painful feeling he had ever felt in his entire life. His chest was aching, but his heart was refusing to stop beating. He wanted to die, but he just couldn't. He still had people back home that were counting on him. Then again, Lukas did, too.

.

 _A Few Hours Later, London, England_

Mathias slept fitfully in his bunk and was gently shaken awake by someone. He opened his eyes and saw his friend, Private Alfred F. Jones, standing over him. He rubbed at his eyes. "Hey, can we go and get some drinks?" he asked.

"Are you feeling okay?" Alfred asked, glasses slipping to the end of his nose. He quickly pushed them back up. "I mean, yeah, we can go get some drinks if you'd like. It's not like we're too busy tomorrow morning."

"Yeah," Mathias said, sitting up carefully. His chest still felt tight. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to tell Alfred about Lukas, but he didn't know if he knew already, and he didn't want to do it here. "Let's just go." He stood and found his shoes before slipping them on. He stood and wobbled a little.

"Are you sure you should be drinking?" Alfred asked, steadying him. "You really don't look too great." He frowned. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you when we get there, okay?" Mathias asked. "I don't want to tell you here."

"Okay?" the American soldier asked, confused. He walked to the door with Mathias. "You're sure you're okay to go?"

"Yeah," Mathias assured. Yet he didn't say a word all the way to the pub.

"Oh, I forgot to ask something," Alfred asked after they had been served their drinks. "Where's Lukas tonight? Usually you two are always together. It's weird seeing you without him."

"Yeah," Mathias said, voice a bit clipped. "It is, isn't it?"

"Are you two fighting?" Alfred asked.

Mathias shook his head. "No, we're not." He took a long drink of vodka. "He's, uh…" He took a gulp as tears filled his eyes. "He's dead, Alfred."

Alfred's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah," Mathias said, trying to swallow the lump in his throat and blink back the tears. "Lukas died during the mission today. It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did…" His voice choked as he said, "They couldn't even find his body…"

"If they couldn't find his body, maybe there's a way that he lived," Alfred tried to say.

"No," Mathias said, shaking his head. "The plane he was in exploded. There was no way he could've lived." By now, tears began to flow down his cheeks as he sniffled. "Why? Why did it have to be Lukas, of all people? Why did he have to die?"

"Why does anyone die?" a man with white hair asked, sitting at their table. He kept his head lowered, looking at the table. "People die, man. It's a fact of life."

"Excuse me, but we're having a serious conversation," Alfred said, glaring at the white-haired man. "Who the fuck are you, and why are you sitting with us?"

"I'm glad you asked," the man said. He looked up and Mathias and Alfred gasped, seeing that the man's pupils in his eyes were red. The man had albinism! "My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt!"

"Beilsch...Wait a minute!" Alfred gasped. "That's a German name!" He glared harder, clenching his fists. "What the hell makes you think you can come into this pub so easily?"

"Uh, the fact that I come here so often?" Gilbert suggested snarkily. "They know me here. Besides, I don't get involved in all of that militaristic bulshit. It's not worth it at all. My brother may be one of them, but I would rather die than be a Nazi. Besides, they would never accept someone like me. I don't look like my brother or anyone else in my family. No one wants an albino, right?"

Alfred looked confused, but Mathias was furious. "Why would you say something like that?" he demanded. "No one would ever want to die! Especially at the hands of the fucking Germans!"

"Calm down there, buddy," Alfred said, patting Mathias on the back. His efforts calmed Mathias down and got him to quiet down once more. "Look, Gilbert, I don't want to piss you off, but let's not talk about death around him. His friend was killed by the German air force today."

Gilbert looked across the table at the sniffling Mathias. A look of genuine sadness crossed his face. "I truly am sorry," he said. "I apologize for that. The people of my brother's country are terrible. I do not claim to be German. I claim the country of Prussia." He sighed. "That is just awful, and I hope that you're going to be okay one day. I do not expect you to heal right away. Those things take time."

Alfred blinked in surprise. He didn't expect a complete stranger to be so sympathetic. Especially one who was so loud and open about his own feelings on things.

"Thank you," Mathias softly muttered, taking another large gulp of vodka. He sighed and rested his head on his hand. "He's the most important person in my life, and now he's gone. I don't know what to do."

Alfred frowned. "Sounds like how I would be if something happened to Arthur."

"Arthur?" Gilbert asked.

"He's my friend here that I visit every day," Alfred explained. "He has a little boy that I help with his homework and all that jazz." He felt confused as Mathias and Gilbert stared at him. "What? You've never heard the phrase before?"

"Never," they both said in unison.

"Right," Alfred said, blushing in embarrassment.

Gilbert sighed and looked across the table at Mathias. "Would you mind telling me what your friend was like? You know, things like name, age, rank, random trivia?"

"I don't think he wants to talk about-"

"Lieutenant Lukas Bondevik," Mathias slowly said, staring into the small glass of vodka. "He was from Oslo, Norway, but I met him in Stockholm, Sweden, which is where I was raised. We were trained in the military together. His mother's name is Elsa Steilsson, and she's very sick, always sick. He also has a little brother named Emil, who is five. He's twenty-three." Mathias sighed. "And I miss him more than words can say…"

"I'll find out what I can when I go back home," Gilbert said. "And lucky for you, I'll be going back within the next couple weeks. Just come back here for drinks with me for a couple nights, and we can call ourselves friends."

Mathias looked up at him. "Yeah, sounds good."

"I better be included in this if Arthur will allow it," Alfred said.

"What, it's not like you're married to the guy," Gilbert snorted.

"Well he's a recovering alcoholic," Alfred explained. "Actually, he lives right next door to this pub, so I want to lay low a bit, you know?" He laughed. "He would hate to hear that I came here."

Mathias laughed. "I think Arthur would understand if you told him that I dragged you here," he said. "You can even explain the reason why if need be. I remember hearing stories from you about him. He seems a bit strict with you on occasion."

Alfred chuckled to himself. "He can be on occasion," he said. "But he really does mean well. He's usually very kind and caring toward people he cares about, and I would happen to be one of them."

Gilbert laughed. "Sounds almost suspicious to me."

"That's fine," Alfred cheerfully said. "I don't remember asking your opinion, Gilbert." He laughed. "But that's fine."

Mathias snorted. "Damn, Alfred, calm down. He didn't say in what way it was suspicious." He took another large gulp of his vodka, emptying the small glass. As he looked into it, he wanted another, or perhaps twenty more. "I need more of these."

"How many more?" Alfred asked, eyeing Mathias carefully. "You shouldn't have too many more. They'll go straight to your head, and that's not good for you at all."

"I know it's not good for me," Mathias grumbled. "Why else would I want it so badly?"

Alfred sighed. "I'm only letting you have two more. That's it." He frowned and looked over at Gilbert. "So do you come here every night?"

"Just about," Gilbert said. He sat back in his chair and threw his head back, looking up at the ceiling. "It's not like I have anything better to do in this city."

"Sure you do," Alfred said. "There are plenty of things to do in London."

"Not when you've been here so many times in your life," Gilbert said. He rolled his eyes. "There is too much stuff to see, and then once you see all of it you just become used to it, you know?"

Mathias sighed. "That's how I always felt about Stockholm," he remembered. "I showed Lukas around there, though. We had a lot of fun."

Alfred nodded. "I saw the sights of London by myself before I met Arthur, but I wish I had known him so I could've seen them with him and Leon."

Gilbert smiled. "The way you talk about Arthur is interesting," he said. "It's almost as if you were in love with him."

"W-Why would you say that?" Alfred asked. "It's not like I would be in love with a man. That's just silly to think about…"

"Is it, though?" Gilbert asked. "Have you ever thought that a lot more men than you think are homosexuals? I know plenty of homosexual men," he said, lowering his voice so it could only be heard by the men at the table. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. You think men don't experiment every now and then?"

"Experiment?" Alfred asked, confused.

"He means sexually," Mathias said. "You know, to see if they would rather do it with men or women." He looked up at Gilbert. "Let me guess, you've experimented." He laughed when Gilbert nodded. "And which do you prefer."

"I like both of them," Gilbert said with an indifferent shrug. "Especially this one married couple that I screw with." He winked. "The husband and the wife have no idea that I'm sleeping with both of them."

Alfred's eyes widened. "That's a terrible thing to do, Gilbert. You could ruin their marriage. Don't you care about that."

"Not with the secrets I know," Gilbert stated. "Their marriage was ruined from the start."

Mathias was confused, but he didn't press the matter. "Well, if we're being honest, Lukas is my lover," he admitted. "That's why it hurts so bad for me. It's because I love him so much."

Alfred gulped. "Then you guys are right. I shouldn't be ashamed. I should be honest. Arthur is my lover. We've been together for almost two years," he admitted quietly.

"Two years?" Mathias asked. "I didn't know that much. Damn."

Alfred blushed. "Yeah, but it's a long story about all of that."

Mathias stayed quiet as Alfred and Gilbert sat there, drinking and talking about their loves and past loves and "experimentations". He didn't want to talk about love anymore. He didn't want to think about Lukas and where he was. All he could hope was that Gilbert was right about Lukas still possibly being alive. There was a very, very slight chance of it, and he hoped that chance was correct.

"Mathias, could you do me one last favor?" Gilbert asked.

"Yeah?" Mathias asked in a daze. He had drank three vodkas and was still feeling terrible from all of the news he had gotten that day. He truly wanted nothing more than for that day to be over.

"Tell me, what does your Lukas look like?" Gilbert asked.

"His hair is a very light blond," Mathias began, closing his eyes. He had only seen Lukas the day before, but why was it so hard to imagine him? It's about chin length and a little wavy. His eyes are a deep sapphire color. Also, he never smiles or shows much expression."

"He sounds like a bit of a killjoy," Gilbert sighed. "To each his own."

Mathias smiled. "He doesn't sound like much to most people, but he is everything to me."

And that was the damn truth for him. Lukas was everything. He hated that Lukas was now dead. He hated it! And as he drained the final glass of vodka, he wanted nothing more than to be dead with him. He just wanted to die with Lukas. Nothing more than to be dead with the one he loved.


	8. Chapter 8

_Mid-December, 1943, Small Austrian Town_

Lukas sat up in his bed and looked at the calendar. It was a week until Christmas. He sighed as he sat back against the pillows. His wounds still hadn't healed, but all he wanted was to get back to that man that he was in love with….wherever he was. He was certain that it was a man, though. All he could do was wonder what that man looked like.

This was how he normally spent his days when he wasn't allowed to get out of bed. Either he would sit and read or he would daydream about his love and imagine what he looked like. That was all there really was to do. Sometimes he would sit and relax whenever Roderich played the piano. If Elizaveta was home when that happened, sometimes they would help Lukas out of bed and take him to the piano room to listen in person. Those days always made Lukas the happiest.

That day was a rainy day mixed with a bit of snow and ice. It was a little cold, so Lukas was glad that Elizaveta left him an extra blanket that morning. He snuggled up into it and smiled as he watched the snow and rain fall outside of his window. It looked so pretty to him, but he felt bad for anyone who was outside in it.

And just like that, a memory stirred deep in Lukas's mind. A memory of a man that he couldn't quite make out handing him wool socks in a military setting. Then his feet were warm.

And just as soon as it came, the memory was gone, leaving Lukas feeling empty and confused. Surely that must have been his love who had done that. He wanted to tell Roderich and Elizaveta of his newfound memory, but just as quickly as he remembered it, it was being forgotten. Slipping away back into that locked part of his mind along with the rest of his memories from the past six years.

Tears streaked Lukas's face. It just wasn't fair! Why did he have to have that accident and lose all of those precious memories of his? Why couldn't he have held on a little bit longer to that memory? Just long enough to see the face of his love! That was all he wanted!

Lukas pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them, sobbing. It wasn't fair!` It just wasn't fair!

.

"So you're saying that you remembered something, but you forgot it immediately after?" Elizaveta asked him, cocking her head to the side.

It was a few hours later and Elizaveta had come in to check on him. She had been worried when she saw how much of a wreck he was. Her usual smile turned into an immediate frown as she rushed to his bedside and demanded to know what was wrong.

"It was _him_!" Lukas said. "It was my love, and I couldn't even remember his face or any distinct features! Not even his voice! But I know it was him! I could just tell!" He sobbed a little harder. "Why did this happen to me?!"

"Lukas, please calm down," Elizaveta softly said. "No one knows why these things happen. They just do." She smiled a little. "Roderich and I have a friend who has been in England for awhile now. He'll be coming here for Christmas and staying with us. Maybe he has run into your love if he's part of the same branch of military with you. I'd assume you were stationed in London, and that's where he was. He knows a lot of military men. Maybe you even knew him." She shrugged. "You never know."

.

 _Same Day, 1943, London, England_

Gilbert leaned back in his chair at the bar and eyes Mathias evenly. "So if I find him anywhere, is there anything you'd want me to say to him?"

Mathias thought for a moment and then sighed. "This is absurd," he said. "Why am I even getting my hopes up? How the fuck would you even come across him? He's dead, Gilbert. I need to accept that fact instead of getting my hopes up over thinking that there could be a chance that he's alive, okay?"

"So you wouldn't want me to say anything to him?" Gilbert asked, raising an eyebrow.

Mathias sighed and pushed a piece of paper across the table to him. "This is for his eyes only. And to make sure you don't read it, I wrote it in Swedish. Lukas is fluent in Swedish, so good luck with that, Gil."

Gilbert smirked at him. "You really love him, don't you? To go to great lengths and trust a complete stranger to deliver a note to a person he might not even be able to find?"

Mathias sighed. "It's the only hope I have left." He tok a drink of his vodka. "It's all I have left. Lukas is everything. I mean, yeah, I have family back in Sweden, but Lukas is my future. Without him, I have nothing." He groaned. "And today, I got terrible news."

"What's that?" Gilbert asked.

"His mother is on the brink of death," Mathias said. "But I didn't put that in my letter. I didn't want to upset or trouble him any more than he already may be. I mean, if he didn't contact anyone back here yet, he must be in pretty bad shape, huh?"

Gilbert sighed. "You're a good man, Mathias. I'll give you that." He stood from his chair. "I leave for Austria tomorrow and I may not be back. You've got my information if you ever need anything, right? I'm pretty sure I gave that to you and Alfred yesterday."

"Yeah," Mathias sighed.

"Good luck out there, Mathias," Gilbert said, offering his hand. "I hope things end up well for you. And if I find Lukas, I'll send him your way."

Mathias managed a small smile to appease Gilbert. "Thanks, Gil." He finished off his vodka and stood as well. "Let's leave together. I shouldn't drink alone anyway."

.

 _Christmas Eve, 1943, Small Austrian Town_

Lukas sat in the piano room next to the tree. He gazed up at the magnificent beauty of the tree that Roderich and Elizaveta decorated. He couldn't believe that two people could decorate something so beautiful with their bare hands in one day. It amazed him.

"As soon as Gilbert gets here, we can start eating the _Gebackener Karpfen_ ," Roderich said.

"The what?" Lukas asked. He was confused, never having spoken German.

"Fried carp," Elizaveta explained. "And afterwards we will be eating _Sachertorte_ , or chocolate and apricot cake, and _Weihnachtsbaeckerei_ , or Christmas cookies." She smiled cheerfully. "It's going to be delicious.

Lukas smiled. "I can tell. I could smell it from my room!" His mouth had been watering all day from Elizaveta's cooking. He looked at the tree and smiled. It looked similar to the trees back home that his father used to decorate when he was a child.

There was a knock at the door. Elizaveta gasped. "Oh! That must be him! I should go answer that! Lukas, I promise I'll be right back!" She then rushed to answer the door.

Lukas waited until he saw a man walk into the room. He could instantly tell that the man had albinism from the fair, white hair and the red pupils of his eyes. He just eyed the albino man curiously from where he sat, but he didn't say a word, feeling almost threatened from the almost _familiar_ way the man was staring at him.

Elizaveta followed into the room. "Gilbert, I'd like you to meet the man who is staying with us right now," she said, gesturing to Lukas. "This is Lieutenant Lukas Bondevik of the British military."

"Lieutenant Lukas Bondevik, you say?" Gilbert asked with a smirk, eyeing the Norwegian pilot from where he sat across the room. "I know a guy or two who are looking for you."

Elizaveta swatted him with her hand towel. "Don't scare him like that!" she snapped when she saw Lukas's eyes widen.

Lukas didn't hear anything else Elizaveta said in his defense. He was too busy wondering who was looking for him. Elizaveta did say that this man was in London. Did he know Lukas's love? Was that someone who was looking for him?

"I'm not afraid," Lukas stated, face blank, like usual. "In fact, I am intrigued. What are the names of the people looking for me?"

"They go by the names of Alfred Jones and Mathias Køhler. You know them?" Gilbert asked.

Lukas shook his head. "Can't say that I do," he stated. "The names don't sound familiar to me at all."

"Thought so," Gilbert sighed. "You had some damage done to your memory, didn't you?"

"How did you know?" Lukas asked.

"One of those men," Gilbert said, "but I'm not saying which, is madly in love with you."

Lukas sat in a stunned shock, wondering which of the two it was. Could it be the one with the foreign name, or the one with the Scandinavian name like his? He bit his lip, trying to figure it out. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate.

"I don't suppose you would happen to return the feelings of his, would you?" Gilbert asked.

"I do," Lukas answered, honestly. "I know that I do, but I just don't know who he is or what he looks like or anything like that. I just know that I love him. Very much. More than I've ever loved another person."

"How much do you know about yourself?" Gilbert asked.

"Gilbert, stop this right now!" Elizaveta commanded, tears in her eyes. "I can't take it anymore! Leave the poor man alone! He's been through enough!" She moved to stand in front of Lukas and block Gilbert's view of him. "Let's just eat and talk later!"

.

The meal wasn't as joyous as they had all planned it to be, with Lukas silent and Gilbert contemplating what to do next regarding Lukas, Mathias's note deep in his pocket. Lukas was poking at his food as everyone else ate, but that was expected, considering his condition. He didn't know what to do while he watched everyone eat, so he made it look like he was eating a lot.

Suddenly, Lukas's eyes went wide as another memory came to Lukas just like earlier before. It was of a silvery-haired toddler crawling into his lap, crying and clinging to him, begging in Norwegian to take his fever away. Lukas's arms wrapped gently but tightly around the little boy as he mumbled in gibberish to the boy and then the boy broke out into a sweat moments later as his fever broke.

Then just like that, the memory was gone, flittering away back into that locked part of Lukas's mind before he could grasp it once more. The silvery-haired boy with those tear-filled violet eyes, who was he?

" _Faen!_ " he cursed in Norwegian, slamming his fist on the table and breathing heavily, making everyone else at the table jump. He then remembered where he was and switched back to English. "My apologies," he softly said. "I just remembered something."

"What did you remember, dear?" Elizaveta asked him.

Lukas sighed. "I don't remember. It was a memory of mine from the past six years, and then it slipped away." He then looked at Gilbert. "You asked me what I knew about myself. What do you know about me, Gilbert? Do I have any siblings at all?"

Roderich and Elizaveta looked to Gilbert expectantly as he said, "You do. His name is Emil, and he's five years old. Your lover was the one who gave me this information."

Lukas felt like hi head was going to explode. So that silvery-haired boy must have been his little brother! He had to be! "I have a little brother?" he softly asked, eyes filling with tears, the same way they did when he held Emil for the first time. Even though when he held him for the first time he hated him, he still loved that boy deep down. "Oh, my God…"

"Gilbert, look what you did!" Elizaveta hissed at him. "You upset Lukas!"

"I don't think he's upset," Roderich said. "I think he's actually happy."

"I'm a big brother," Lukas said, smiling. "I have a baby brother."

Elizaveta smiled. "I'll bet he's cute."

"He is," Lukas said. "I saw him in my memories. Though I can't remember now, I know he was cute. The cutest little boy I had ever seen."

.

After all of the gifts had been handed out that night, Gilbert sat down next to Lukas. "Look," he began, "I know that you don't really know who I am, but I'm a good friend of your lover's. He trusts me. He put so much blind faith in me that I'd find you. Even though everyone back where you're from thinks you're dead, he still put in enough faith in you to write you something, and I think maybe you should read it. Maybe it could spark a memory or something."

"He wrote me something?" Lukas asked, surprised. "What kind of something?"

"I don't know," Gilbert said. "I can't read it. It's in Swedish."

Lukas smiled to himself. "So it is that Mathias person, isn't it?"

"You figured it out," Gilbert said with a smug grin. "Alfred's a cool person too, you know." He smiled. "I think Roderich and Elizaveta might be heading off to bed soon. How about I help you to your room and I can answer some more questions about Mathias if you'd like."

"That would be nice," Lukas answered. He offered Gilbert his arm to help him up. "My leg was damaged pretty badly," he explained. "I just need help walking a bit until it fully recovers, and then I'll be able to go back to England and join back up with Mathias."

Gilbert smiled. "Would you like me to tell him that I found you?"

Lukas thought about it for a moment. "No," he decided. "I think I would like to keep it a secret for now. If there really were people out to kill me like Roderich and Elizaveta said there were, then maybe it's best that I stay 'dead' for now. At least until I get back to England."

"That sounds like a good plan to me," Gilbert said, helping Lukas up. He smiled. "You're so much lighter than him. Thank you."

"Is he fat or something?" Lukas asked, confused as they began to walk to his room.

"No, he's just very tall and quite muscular," Gilbert answered. "I've had to help him walk through the bar a few times before pawning him off on another military man."

Lukas smiled. Just what he always wanted, a tall, muscular man. "What does he look like?" he asked, trying to imagine him.

"Who? Mat?" Gilbert chuckled. "Well he styles his hair all spikey every day and it's blonde like yours only a little darker. And his eyes are like an almost ice blue."

"Ice blue, you say?" Lukas asked, imagining this man. Other than the spikey hair, he sounded perfect to him. "So is he handsome?"

"Very," Gilbert said. "And he can hold a good amount of alcohol before he starts getting weird."

"You don't say," Lukas chuckled. He opened the door to his room and turned on the light.

Gilbert shut the door after them. "He wants what is said between us to stay between us. No middle man other than me, got it?"

Lukas nodded. "I understand."

"Mathias may act like he's all big and bad and tough, but I know him. I've gotten to know him since the night of your accident. He's a wreck without you. From what Alfred said, he was a pretty swell guy before your accident, but now he's all mopey and down. All he sings is that depressing 'If I Didn't Care' song in his free time and drink at the pub with me." Gilbert sighed. "What a poor excuse of a man he is at the moment without you. So we need to get you well so you can get back to him."

Lukas nodded. "That's the plan. I don't care about this goddamn military anymore. I never want to fly again. I never want to fight again. I just want to go back home and be with the people I love."

"Then that's what I'll do with you," Gilbert said. "I'll get you back home to the people you love. There is no more noble of a cause than that, right?"

"What are you?" Lukas asked, blinking.

"Consider me a friend," Gilbert told him. "That's what I want to be."

Lukas nodded. "Then that's what you'll be to me. You'll be my friend. Any friend of my love is a friend of mine."

"You have so much trust in someone you don't remember?" Gilbert asked.

"I have to," Lukas said. "After all, if he loves me enough to send you to come looking for me then he must have put a lot of trust in you, right? If he can trust you, then that must mean that I can as well, right?"

"I like your logic, Lukas," Gilbert stated, smiling. "You're very smart."

"Thank you," Lukas said. "I've been told that I am rather clever when I need to be."

"Well whoever said that is not wrong," Gilbert stated with a smirk. "Glad to have finally met you."

Lukas smiled. "So let's get down to business with this. Where is that note, Gilbert?"

"You really are straight to the point, aren't you?" Gilbert asked, reaching into his pocket. "If you really must know, it's right here." He reached deep into his pocket and pulled it out. "If you have no questions tonight, I will retire to the living room couch and talk to you in the morning."

"That would be fine," Lukas said, stretching his legs out onto the bed as he sat. "I wouldn't mind that." He didn't care if he was being rude. This could be a key into his past! He held the note carefully in his hands as if it would crumble into ashes at the slightest touch.

"Then I'll see you in the morning," Gilbert said. "Merry Christmas, Lukas."

"Merry Christmas," Lukas said, more focused on that note than anything.

The moment Gilbert had left the room, Lukas unfolded the note, eager to read what it had to say. He was desperate to hear the words of his love back home. He was eager to know what his lover had to say to him. He wanted to see if he could unlock a permanent memory.

It took him a moment to begin reading the note, having been reading in English for so long, but e quickly picked up on it and reading through it was a breeze.

 _My Dearest Lukas,_

 _I'm hoping that Gilbert got this note to you. He really is a nice man, I swear. After all, he got this note to you. I am forever in his debt for that. Since you're reading this, that can only mean one thing. You're alive!_

 _I miss you so much, and I can't stand it without you. I don't know how I lived my life before I knew you. You're the only reason to live. I've realized that now. Life is just dull and boring without you, and I hope that you come back to me soon._

 _We all need you back here. Me, Elsa, Emil, Tino, Berwald, Aunt Sigrid, all of us. Make it back home to us, because life is just terrible without you._

 _I love you more than words can say, Lukas. I need you to come home for my sake as well. I feel as if I am losing my sanity and I want to feel your touch once more. I want to kiss you one last time. I want to pleasure you again like I did before. I want to grow old with you one day. Please come home to me._

 _I love you,_

 _Mathias Køhler_

The last paragraph made Lukas blush like a schoolgirl, but that was when his heart began to flutter in his chest as he remembered the feeling of making love with Mathias. It wasn't the full memory, but he remembered how wonderful it was and how sacred and precious it felt. He remembered how it made it seem like they were the only two people in the entire world and that nothing else mattered at all. Oh, how he wanted that again. And he would stop at nothing to return to Mathias. After all, love always conquered.


	9. Chapter 9

Lukas woke the next morning feeling better than he remembered feeling since he had woken up for the first time in this room. He smiled as he saw the sunshine streaming through the window and the snow on the ground. It was Christmas day, and he felt as if a miracle had happened. Though he couldn't imagine what kind of miracle it was, he felt as if something good was going to happen that day.

About ten minutes later, Elizaveta opened the door and peeked in. "Oh! You're awake! Good morning, Lukas!" she greeted with a smile. "Happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas to you as well," he said with a nod. He stretched his arms and smiled a little. "I just feel like today will be one of my better days," he confided to her.

"I'm very glad to hear that," she said, beaming to him. "Everyone else is awake right now. Would you like to join us for breakfast?"

Lukas nodded. "I think that sounds rather wonderful. Thank you."

"Let me go get Roderich," she said. "We got you a gift that should help you get around easier so you're not all cooped up in here all day anymore." She disappeared from the room for a few moments and returned with not only Roderich, but Gilbert as well. "Happy Christmas, Lukas!"

Roderich presented Lukas with a wooden crutch that was just his size. "We had this specially made for you so you can get around easier," he told Lukas. "We hope you like it and can use it to your advantage around the house. Happy Christmas, Lukas."

Lukas was speechless as he held the crutch in his hands. Here, these people were supposed to be his enemies, but they went out and got him a Christmas present to benefit his recovery. They saved him from the people who were trying to kill him. They wanted him to get better so he could return to his family and the man whom he loved.

Tears filled Lukas's eyes and quickly began to spill out. " _Tack!_ " he said before realizing his blunder and switching back to English. "Thank you! You're such wonderful people! I will never forget your kindness to me! I appreciate this so much! You have no idea!" He sat there for a few moments and cried, holding the crutch.

Elizaveta wanted to hug him and comfort him, but Roderich just held her hand, silently telling her to stay back. She immediately understood that he really needed to be "alone" at that moment to process it, alone but with people who cared. Her heart went out to her Norwegian friend. Seeing his tears showed her just how touched he really was by their acts of kindness and was enough to make her whole year. She smiled up at Roderich and leaned her head on her husband's shoulder, sighing out happily.

Lukas looked up at them after a moment. "I'm so sorry that I've lost my bearings in front of you," he apologized. "It's just that no one who's known me for such a short amount of time has ever done something so kind for me. I greatly appreciate this."

"It's no problem at all," Elizaveta said, smiling. "We can see just how much you truly appreciate it, and that's enough for us right there."

"We're just happy to see you this jubilant," Roderich said. "Honestly we haven't seen you this happy before. It's a nice thing to see."

"It is, isn't it?" Lukas asked, smiling to himself. He honestly felt lighter than air. "How about I test this crutch out then?" He placed it on the floor and pulled himself up, putting his full weight on it. His feet shuffled as he used the crutch to maneuver his way over to them. "Look, I'm walking!" he excitedly said. "I'm walking by myself!" He never thought he would be so excited to be able to walk alone, but here he was. "I can do it!"

Elizaveta, overcome by emotion, hugged Lukas as she began crying tears of joy. "You did it, Lukas! You really did it! You walked all by yourself today!"

"Elizaveta, let him breathe," Roderich said after a moment, struggling to pry her off of Lukas. He managed to get her to let go after a few moments. "I'd assume he's just as excited as you are. Now, let's let him walk to breakfast with us, all by himself."

Gilbert smiled at Lukas. "Good job, Lukas. You're one step closer to seeing him again."

Lukas smiled at Gilbert. "I read the note. He's very kind, isn't he?"

"He only thinks of you," Gilbert said. "And only talks of you as well. Get back to him before I see him again, will ya? He gets on my nerves after awhile. Then again, after meeting you, I can see why he never shuts up about you."

"You can?" Lukas asked.

"You're just as remarkable as he says you are. Maybe even more than he lets on."

.

Lukas found that he could get around the house easily with that crutch, a lot more easily than he originally thought he would. Now he had access to all kinds of books, though he had to be careful with the ones he chose. Some were in German, and some even in Hungarian, Elizaveta's native language. A lot of them were in English, though, which made him happy. He was glad that he had chosen to learn English somewhere in those six years that he had lost.

There was nothing he loved more than sitting on the couch in the living room in the afternoons and reading a good book in the sunshine that came through the window. Roderich was usually off at Gilbert's new house, helping him with interior decorating or something like that while Elizaveta was usually baking or cooking or sometimes even sitting around and reading just like Lukas was. Lukas's favorite days were the days when Elizaveta and him would have nice, long, meaningful conversations in the afternoons when it was just the two of them in the house.

"Lukas, how are you doing today?" Elizaveta asked one afternoon as she sat in a nearby armchair with her book. It was her usual procedure before the two of them talked the afternoon away about something.

"I'm doing well," Lukas answered, memorizing the page number that he was on and closing the book, setting it in his blanket-covered lap. "How are you today?"

Elizaveta beamed at him. "I am doing simply wonderful," she told him. "Tell me, Lukas, what do you know about your Mathias?"

"I honestly only know what Gilbert has told me," Lukas admitted, blushing. "And that's that Mathias is really tall, blond, and has spiky hair. He also talks about me constantly." He thought for a moment. "Gilbert also brought me a note from him that triggered a different kind of memory for me."

"What do you mean by that?" Elizaveta asked.

"It wasn't a visual memory," Lukas told her. "It was the memory of a feeling I've had before. I'm certain you've felt it before."

"What feeling was it?" she asked, tilting her head to the side with curiosity.

Lukas blushed slightly. "Since we're not exactly strangers here," he began, "it was the feeling just after making love." He closed his eyes as the memory of the feeling came back to him. "When you're so in love and you just feel so satisfied and complete. There's nothing in the world quite like it."

Elizaveta giggled and sighed out happily. "There really isn't," she agreed. "I remember exactly what that felt like for me and Roderich. Unfortunately it's been a very long time since I've felt that…" She frowned and clasped her hands in her lap. "I miss that feeling, a lot."

"He is your husband, though," Lukas said, confused. "Shouldn't you two be doing that often?" His eyes widened. "Is it because I'm here?" he asked in horror.

"No, not at all," she quickly assured. "We stopped all of that long before you crashed into our lives. About two years before, actually. We haven't made love since our wedding night." Her lips contorted into a frown that Lukas didn't think suited her pretty face.

"Have you tried talking to him about all of this?" Lukas asked her. "Maybe he would understand and try to, you know, more often if you just talked to him about it." He thought about what he was saying. "I mean, it's worth a shot."

"It is, but I doubt he would listen to me," she sighed. "You know how Roderich is. He doesn't like vulgar talk."

"But talking about things like love-making isn't vulgar," Lukas told her. "It's something beautiful that can only be done when the two people are truly in love. Trust me on this. Sex is vulgar, but making love is not. There is a huge difference between the two."

Elizaveta was quiet for a moment as she thought about what Lukas was saying. "You're right," she finally said. "You're absolutely right. I'll talk to him about it later when it's just me and him."

"Then perhaps I should 'go to bed early'?" Lukas suggested with a wink.

"Oh, you are just the best, Luke," Elizaveta said, giggling. "What would I do without you?"

"You'll just have to find out once I get better," he said, smiling widely. "Because I'm going to return to my Mathias, and we are going to be happy together, just like you and Roderich are."

Elizaveta smiled at him and was hesitant before saying, "Yes, Lukas. You will be."

.

Lukas woke late the next morning and found Elizaveta in the living room. He didn't want to be the one to bring it up, so he just went to the couch and sat down with the blanket in his lap and opened the book with a quick, "Good morning, Elizaveta."

"It didn't work," she softly said, looking depressed. "He didn't care, Lukas. Does he even still love me?"

"What do you mean?" Lukas asked, closing the book and looking at her. "Of course he does. Have you seen the way he looks at you? You are his queen."

"I don't feel like it," she admitted. "A true king wants heirs. A true king desires a prince or princess within the first couple years of their marriage. Here, there are no heirs yet, no will there be any time soon." She sighed and looked at her hands, which were tightly folded in her lap. "I've always wanted children, Lukas. Since I was a child myself I've wanted to be a mother."

"I understand that," Lukas said. "Did you tell him everything you're telling me?"

"What's the point?" Elizaveta asked, moving over to the couch with Lukas. "It will just go in one ear and right out the other. It always does." She sighed. "Why can't all men be as easy to talk to as you?"

Suddenly Lukas remembered something. It was cold outside, and he was walking with someone. He wasn't feeling well at all, feeling as if he had been sick for days. All he heard was an unfamiliar voice asking if they needed help and then a familiar voice saying, "He'll bite your head off if you offer it to him." Then he felt hurt and betrayed, as if he had been slapped by words. He couldn't explain how that one sentence had hurt him so badly, but it did.

And then just as quickly as the memory came, it left again. Lukas frowned a looked up at Elizaveta. "I'm not as easy to talk to as you would think," he sighed. "I'm actually not that approachable of a person when I can remember who I am."

"What do you mean?" Elizaveta asked. "I'm sure you're a nice person. You would have to be."

"The twenty-three-year-old me must have really hardened his heart," Lukas softly said. "Here I am with the innocence of the seventeen-year-old me, but I can't even begin to imagine what the twenty-three-year-old me went through to make him like that."

"Like what?" Elizaveta asked.

"I had another memory," Lukas said. "I just remember someone said something negative about me not being a nice person. I don't remember exactly what he said or what it pertained to, but I all I can feel now is how terrible I felt after hearing him say that. It made me feel awful. And the worst part is, I think it was Mathias who said it."

"Why would Mathias say a bad thing about you right in front of you?" Elizaveta asked him curiously. "I don't understand."

"You know," Lukas softly began, "I don't think the me who crash-landed here was that nice of a person." He frowned, thinking about it. "I don't think he was very happy either."

"That doesn't mean that you have to be like him," Elizaveta reminded him.

"But that's the Lukas that Mathias is waiting for," Lukas softly said. "What if he's disappointed to have me instead? What do I do then?"

"I don't think he'd be disappointed to have you," Elizaveta said, grabbing his hand. "Anyone would be lucky to have a man like you in their life, trust me. And I know that there will always be one person who will be extremely glad to see you, now matter what."

"Who?" Lukas asked.

"Your mother," Elizaveta said. "There is never a love quite as strong as a mother's love for her child."

"That's true," Lukas agreed with a nod. "You're right. My mother will always be glad to see me." He smiled at her. "Thank you, Elizaveta. Oh, and I have a little brother now, too. So he'll probably be glad to see me as well."

"Of course he will," Elizaveta said, grinning. "Little brothers always look up to their big brothers for support and guidance. That is a fact, Lukas."

"So he'll always be looking up to me?" Lukas asked.

Elizaveta nodded, smiling. "Always," she assured.

"Then I had better set the best example that I can," he said, grinning. "This is all so exciting. It's like I've been given a new lease on life. I should've died, but somehow you and Roderich were able to save my life and help me recover. Let's hope that one day I'll be able to keep those memories that flicker into my mind for moments at a time. Maybe one day I'll remember everything. And I know one thing. I'll never forget the two of you."

"Even if you do," Elizaveta began, "I know we'll never forget you, Lukas."

.

 _Early January, 1944, Small Austrian Town_

Lukas sat back in his bed as he read one morning. There had been some tension between Roderich and Elizaveta that morning, and he wanted no part of it, so he hid out in his room. He didn't like when tensions were high. It reminded him of when he was younger and his parents would fight.

Elizaveta walked into Lukas's room a while later. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked. "I saw you retreat into here, you know. You really are like a kid, aren't you?"

"I still have the mentality of a seventeen-year-old," he reminded, tapping his temple. He sighed. "What's going on with you two this morning anyway? Though neither of you said a word, I could still feel high tensions and it worried me."

"There's not need to be worried," Elizaveta told him, patting his head. "Roderich and I were just having a discussion in our bedroom this morning that got a little heated is all. The mood from it must have carried out into the house is all." She looked over at the crutch beside the bed. "How is your plan of walking by yourself without the crutch coming along?"

"Can't do it," Lukas simply answered. "I tried this morning and wobbled a little before falling onto my bed."

"Don't expect to move mountains so soon," Elizaveta said, smiling at him. "I get that you want to get home and all, but don't expect miracles to happen so quickly. It will take time and energy, and maybe even some pain to get there. Do you think you can do it?"

Lukas nodded. "I know I can do it."

"That's what I like to hear," she told him, smiling. "Now, we should probably get some exercise in for your damaged leg."

"Do we have to right now?" Lukas asked, frowning. "I really don't want to." He pouted at Elizaveta. "It's going to hurt."

"You just said you can handle the pain," Elizaveta reminded him. "Think of the emotional pain that your mom, brother, and lover are in right now because they currently think you're dead,."

Lukas gulped and threw the blankets off of his leg. It was scarred terribly from burns from the crash. "Let's do this, Liz," he said.

"That's what I like to hear, Luke," she said, grinning at him. "First, I want you to take your foot, and press the heel of it against the palm of my hand as hard as you can."

Lukas lifted his leg with great difficulty and pushed against her palm, wincing in pain. He could feel the muscles that were hardly used crying out in pain as they were awakened. His leg felt about ready to give when she finally told him to stop. "Liz, it hurts," he panted to her.

"But you didn't give up, did you?" she asked him, smiling. "Even when I could see that you were in pain, I wanted to see how long you could go. You didn't fail me. I know for a fact that your leg will recover from this. This pain shall pass."

He smiled at her. "If you're sure about that, then I'll believe you."

She giggled. "Of course I'm sure."

Lukas smiled. "Mathias will be glad to see me, won't he?"

"What kind of a question is that, Luke? Of course he'll be glad to see you! I think he'll be overjoyed is more like it!" Elizaveta said with a giggle. "If he's as wonderful as Gil told you, then I'll bet he doesn't believe for a moment that you're actually dead. I'll bet he's waiting for you right now. I'll bet he's waiting for you to come home as we speak."

.

 _That Same Night, London, England_

Mathias sat on his bunk in the base barracks with Alfred. "Look, all I'm saying is that I don't believe he's really dead," he softly said.

"Mat, no one found a body," Alfred softly responded. "They didn't find a body, and his plane was exploded. He had to have died."

"But they said there was a small house nearby," Mathias said. "What if those people in that house took him in and nursed him back to health? What if that happened, Alfred?"

"The chances of that happening are highly unlikely," Alfred said. "The people in that country are our enemies. They probably killed him, Mathias."

"Please don't say that," Mathias said. "Gilbert is from there, and he wasn't a bad person."

"Speaking of Gil, have you heard from him?" Alfred asked.

Mathias shook his head. "All radio silence from his end," he sighed. "But as they say, 'No news is good news,' right?"

"I guess so," Alfred sighed. He bit his lip. "Look, I just don't want you to get your hopes up and then just have them dashed by finding out he's actually dead, okay?"

"But he's not dead," Mathias said.

"How do you even know that?" Alfred asked him. "How would you even know if he's dead or not? You don't."

"But you don't know of he's actually dead," Mathias countered.

"Look, the Germans are some scary people," Alfred said. "My brother encountered two boys who had a run-in with them. They're both traumatized. Both of the boys were Jewish and barely escaped with their lives. Lukas got shot down by the fucking Germans, Mathias. He's not alive."

"Well I have a feeling that he is, Alfred," Mathias said. "It's just a feeling, but I'm pretty sure that he's still with us." He looked up at the moon through the window. "Somewhere, probably even from that tiny house near where his plane crashed, he's looking up at the same moon as me." He stared up at the moon for a moment before muttering, "Goodnight, Lukas, wherever you are. I love you."

.

 _That Same Night, Small Austrian Town_

Lukas found himself looking up at the moon from his bedroom window as he laid in bed that night. Something about it seemed warm and familiar to him. For the first time in awhile, he felt a connection to someone distant and far-off. He didn't know who it was, but he felt that connection. "Goodnight, Mathias," he whispered to the connection. "I know it's you. I want you to know that I love you too."


	10. Chapter 10

_Mid-March, 1944, Small Austrian Town_

Lukas was starting to feel well enough to try walking again. He knew his leg was starting to feel a bit better, and he knew he needed to start using it, or else the muscles would only get weaker. It made him uneasy to even think about walking on it, but every morning Elizaveta would come in and help him stretch his muscles in it before leaving for her sunrise walk.

He breathed a deep sigh as he sat at the edge of his bed. His mind was telling him that he really didn't want to do this, but he knew deep down that he really did want to. There was nothing more that he wanted to do so badly. All he truly wanted was to walk again so he could return to his family and the man he loved.

"Do this for him," he told himself, thinking of his beloved Mathias. Though he still had no idea what he looked or sounded like, he knew one thing. He was deeply aware of how Mathias made him feel, and that was enough to give him the final push that he needed to rise to his feet and take two steps forward.

Lukas's deep blue eyes widened in surprise. He was walking! Even if it was more of a shuffle, he was still doing it without the crutch! He was really moving all on his own! It was all him! Lukas let out a gleeful laugh. He was so proud of himself!

Roderich opened the door to Lukas's room. "Lukas?" he asked. "Is everything all right?" He then noticed where Lukas was and saw the crutch lying on the bed. "Did you walk over there?"

"Yes!" Lukas excitedly told him. "I walked, Roderich! I made it over here by myself!" He was practically beaming. "Isn't that wonderful?"

"Indeed it is," Roderich said, walking over to Lukas's bed and grabbing the crutch. "But just remember one small thing, Lukas. Baby steps. Just take it all one day at a time. Don't rush yourself."

Lukas accepted his crutch from Roderich and huffed out in annoyance. "I don't want to wait forever," he groaned. "I just want to be back in England already. I want to be back with Mathias and my family. I want to meet Mathias already. There are things I need to do. They all think I'm dead, Roderich! I need to prove to them that I'm not!"

"What you really need first is a haircut," Roderich sighed. He examined Lukas's hair that long and shaggy, hanging in waves down past his shoulders, his bangs clipped back by a gold hairclip in the shape of a cross. "Where did you get that hairclip anyway?"

"This?" Lukas asked, reaching a hand up and touching it fondly. "My father gave it to me before he died. It was passed down through the generations of the Bondevik men." He sighed and pulled his fingers away from it. "I guess this means I'll be the last one to inherit it…" His mouth pulled down at the edges into a frown. "Am I a bad person for not having an heir?"

Roderich shook his head. "You're not a bad person at all," he said. "Maybe one day you can pass it on to a descendant of someone who really touched your life in a special way."

Lukas smiled to himself. "Maybe," he softly said. "You never know." He thought back. "If only I could remember the people I knew. Most of the people I knew in Norway were really old, so they're probably all dead by now. I don't really know many people who would have children for me to pass it on to. I suppose there is always my little brother, but he isn't a Bondevik…" He thought really hard about it. "I'm sure I'll find someone to pass it to, though."

"I'm sure you will," Roderich assured with a smile. "Why don't you take a rest and sit for awhile?"

"No, I'm fine," Lukas said. "I want to do a little more walking. I'll take my crutch in case if I need it, but I just want to try it for awhile Roderich. Please? I just really need this. I want to get back home soon. I'm not being ungrateful for your care, but my loved ones need me."

"I completely understand," Roderich said. "If I were in your position, I would want to get home as well. I will help you to the best of my abilities." He nodded to Lukas. "Let's go for a walk around the interior of the house."

Lukas grinned at him. "Thank you, Roderich!"

"Don't mention it," Roderich said, "especially to Elizaveta."

.

Elizaveta came home a little after sunrise and came to Lukas's bedroom. "Good morning, Lukas," she sang to him. "How are you today?" She flicked her tawny hair behind her shoulders and sat at the end of his bed, grabbing his feet. "Time to do more stretches."

Lukas groaned. "I don't want to," he said, pouting.

"You're going to have to if you want to walk again," Elizaveta scolded. She pulled one of his feet out and began stretching it. "That's just something you have to do whether you like it or not."

Lukas cringed, clenching his jaw. "I hate it," he grumbled through clenched teeth. He bit his lip as he felt the muscles pull in his calf, immediately tasting the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

Elizaveta looked up as blood dribbled down his chin. "Stop biting your lip, Lukas," she scolded. "You should know better. One day, you just might bite all the way through it, and that won't be fun."

Lukas crossed his arms and pouted, grumbling to himself in Norwegian. He cursed everything before remembering how good it felt to walk earlier, but then remembered that he promised Roderich that he wouldn't tell her.

"Liz, may I practice walking today?" he asked her, stretching his muscles in his legs with her. He cringed and sucked in his breath, but he knew he had to do it. If he didn't, there was no way he would ever walk alone again.

"Lukas, we've talked about this," she stated. "I'm not comfortable with you walking when Roderich is not around, and he's not home right now."

"I'll be fine, I promise," Lukas said.

"And what if you're not?" Elizaveta asked, eyeing him curiously. "We both know that your right leg is weaker than your left. What if you fall down? I'm not strong enough to pick you back up, Lukas."

"Then I will lie on the ground until Roderich comes home," Lukas said. "It's a sacrifice that I am willing to make."

Elizaveta clicked her tongue at him in disapproval. "Fine, Lukas. Have it your way. But you're not going to practice your walking until we're finished with your stretching, got it?"

"I understand you perfectly," Lukas answered with a smile. He eagerly cooperated with Elizaveta, hoping to finish with his stretches in a timely manner. He wanted to show her how he could walk.

"All right, Bondevik," Elizaveta said when they had finished stretches. "Show me what you think you can do." She sat back on the bed and propped herself up on her arms. "Walk for me if you can."

"Prepare to be amazed," Lukas said, smiling widely. "I'll show you that I can walk. Just you wait." He sat on the edge of his bed and placed his weight evenly on both feet as he had done earlier that day. Taking a deep breath, he stood up on both feet and began to shuffle across the floor. It was a little more painful than before since he had just stretched, but he felt exhilarated. There wasn't a better feeling to him than proving someone like Elizaveta wrong. He turned to face her, a smirk resting on his lips. "How was that?"

She was speechless for a moment. "Lukas, you walked!" she exclaimed. Elizaveta rose to her feet and hurried over to him with the crutch. "You really did it! I'm so proud of you! You're amazing!"

"Thank you," Lukas laughed, smiling. "It's really nothing."

"What are you talking about 'nothing'?!" Elizaveta demanded. "You _walked_ , Luke! That is a huge accomplishment! I'm so proud of you!" She hugged him tightly. "You're amazing, Lukas! You really can do anything you put your mind to!"

"Of course I can," Lukas confidently stated, taking the crutch and leaning on it, grateful to be able to take the weight off of his right leg. "I'm glad that I've made some progress in these last few months."

"Of course!" Elizaveta cried out. "You're wonderful, Lukas! Never let anyone ever tell you again that you can't do something! Do you understand me? Not even me! Because you can do anything! Anything, Lukas!"

"I get the point you're trying to make," he laughed. He used his crutch to hobble back over to his bed and sat back down. "Although I can probably only shuffle about ten paces for the time being, it's still a start."

"And that's all you need right now," Elizaveta told him. "A start."

"I love your positivity," Lukas told her, smiling. "You make everything seem more simple than it really is."

"Of course I do," she said. "If I thought negatively, then we'd be in trouble."

.

 _May, 1944, Small Austrian Town_

"This is so difficult!" Lukas grumbled under his breath. "The ground is so uneven!"

"It's your final test, Lukas! If you can do this, then you're free to go home!" Elizaveta encouraged from twenty feet away. She clung tightly to Roderich's arm.

"Why did I let you encourage him to do this?" Roderich sighed to her. "He's going to fall."

"No he won't," Elizaveta softly told her husband. "He won't fall if we believe in him, darling. All he needs is this final push." She smiled widely as she watched her Norwegian friend. "Come on, Lukas!"

Lukas wandered through the forest ahead of him. Elizaveta told him he couldn't use anything for support. He only had to go touch the oak tree up ahead and come back. He could do it. His deep blue eyes focused on the oak tree ahead of him as they scanned the foliage ahead. He could do this. He really could.

"Come on, Lukas," he muttered to himself. "If you can do this, you're free to go and see Mathias and your family. Everyone will know you're not dead. You can keep walking. Everything will be fine. Keep going, Lukas. Prove yourself to Roderich and Elizaveta. They believe in you, so you can believe in yourself." He took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at the tree. "You've made it this far. You can't fail now."

Lukas charged on ahead and touched the tree. This time, he turned around and focused on Roderich and Elizaveta, who both stood in the clearing. His legs carefully stepped over the underbrush that wanted to ensnare his feet. He knew that he could do this. He made it there, so he knew he could make it back. His heart began to race as he got closer and closer to his friends with every step.

Elizaveta clutched Roderich's sleeve tightly. "Darling, he's going to do it!" she excitedly whispered to him. "He's coming back! He's going to make it!"

Lukas reached the end of the clearing and walked out of the woods and right up to Elizaveta and Roderich. "One ticket to England," he told them, smiling.

"We'll have Gilbert smuggle you in," Roderich said with a smile. "You did it!"

"We're so proud of you!" Elizaveta squealed to him. "Congratulations, Lukas! We'll have you ready to leave by morning! Tonight, we'll celebrate!"

Lukas smiled widely. "I did it! I really did it!"

.

 _Mid-May, 1944, On a Boat to England_

"Don't tell me you get seasick, kid," Gilbert grumbled to Lukas. "You're going to get the bottom bunk. I'll go get you a bucket."

Lukas sat on the bottom bunk with his head between his legs, suddenly remembering a time that was similar to this. He remembered being on a boat to England with someone else and being seasick. He remembered that person getting him a bucket as well. Was it Mathias?

Gilbert came back with the bucket just in time for Lukas to vomit into it. "Awe, geez, kid," he groaned. "If I had known you got seasick like this…" He sighed. "Guess there isn't any other way, though…"

When Lukas had finished vomiting, he looked up at Gilbert. "What's the plan for when he get there?" he asked.

"You get straight to the point, don't you?" Gilbert laughed. "Well, we are going to stay a night at a hotel so you can recover, and then I'll give you directions to your base."

Lukas nodded. "Yeah, that works."

.

 _One Week Later, London, England_

Mathias was stopped by Alfred as he was walking out of the base one afternoon. "What do you want, Alfred?" he asked.

"Where are you going?" Alfred asked him.

"Why does it matter?" Mathias asked, rolling his eyes. "It's not like you really do care."

A hurt expression crossed Alfred's face. "That's not true, Mathias," he slowly said. "I really do care. I'm sorry that I'm not always available to talk. It's just that."

"It's just that the one you love is still alive," Mathias snarled at him. "I get it."

Alfred, having nothing else to say, stepped aside. There was no way he would ever be able to argue with something like that. He knew that Mathias really did have a point there. Arthur wasn't dead, but Lukas was… "Go ahead then," he slowly said.

"Thank you," Mathias said, storming out of the base. He ran off into the woods and into the clearing. Once he got there, he laid down and finally let the tears flow freely, like he did every time he went there. That was the only place he knew he could mourn the loss of Lukas after the funeral. He still carried Lukas's funeral picture with him.

"Lukas," he softly said to the picture. "Now that you're gone, who's going to take care of Emil? First you, then your mother four months later. Now Emil has no one…He's with Aunt Sigrid for now. Please, by some miracle, please come back to me. I will never let you leave me again. Just please come back to me, Lukas. I love you. I need you. Come back to me."

.

Lukas walked around the entire city, getting lost everywhere he turned. Gilbert's directions weren't too specific to him. It turned out that he did have to use his crutch as he hobbled around after the first hour of walking, his right leg hurting too badly to function properly anymore. He sighed and sat on a bench, thinking over Gilbert's instructions once more.

As soon as he thought he had them memorized once more, he got up and began his search again. He sighed. Of course it had to be a hot day, of all days. His eyes scanned all of the street signs that he passed until he found the proper one to turn at. And when he stood in front of the building, no memories came flooding back, like he wanted them to.

A little down the way was a small, wooded area. Something inside of him was telling him to go there. He couldn't explain what was telling him to, but he knew that he needed to go to the wooded area. That was all he could focus on.

His feet turned him in the direction of the woods as he began walking toward it almost automatically. What was so important about it? Why did he need to go there so badly?

Before he knew it, he was walking through the woods and ended up in a clearing with a man whose back was turned to him. Lukas suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity as he heard the man singing to something.

" _Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?_ " the man sang softly.

Something inside of Lukas told him to sing with this man, yet he felt uncertain about it for a split second. What if the man got mad? What if this man wasn't familiar with him? There were so many what-ifs, but Lukas decided to go for it.

" _And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?_ " Lukas sang to him.

The man suddenly froze. He then turned and faced Lukas. His hair was blonde and spiked. He had the cleared blue eyes that Lukas had ever seen. Could this man be Mathias? Was he the reason why Lukas knew that song?

Before Lukas could finish all of his thoughts, the man ran to him and embraced him, crying. His lips pressed against Lukas's and everything else went away for a moment.

Yet at the same time, everything also came back. All of those flickers of memory came rushing back into Lukas's head. That lock that was once dwelling in Lukas's mind was suddenly broken and the memories flooded his mind as he kissed that beautiful man. The more Lukas kissed Mathias, the more he remembered and the more he knew and understood about himself from the past six years. And once all the memories came back was when he finally broke the kiss off.

"Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?" Mathias whispered to Lukas.

Lukas's eyes flooded over with tears. "Mathias!" he cried out, clinging to his Danish lover. "I've missed you so much! You have no idea!"

"Words can't even begin to express how much I've missed you," Mathias assured. He cradled Lukas's head into his shoulder. "I thought you were dead." His eyes brimmed over with tears. "Please don't ever scare me like that again…"

"I didn't mean to," Lukas sobbed. "But I was taken care of, I can assure you of that…" He then pulled away and looked up at Mathias. "How are my mother and Emil?"

"Emil is just fine, but your mother…" Mathias went quiet and Lukas got the hint. He held Lukas up as his legs gave way beneath him. His arms held his lover as he shook with sobs of defeat. "I'm so sorry," he softly said. "It's hard... I know it's hard, Lukas. It's okay to cry like this."

"What's going to happen to my baby brother?" Lukas sobbed. He grabbed fistfuls of Mathias's shirt as he cried. "He needs someone!"

"He has Aunt Sigrid, Berwald, and Tino for right now," Mathias softly told Lukas. "Maybe you could raise him after the war."

"I can't do it on my own," Lukas softly said. "I can't handle kids. I really can't."

"Then I'll help you," Mathias told him. "We may not be the perfect family, but I think we'll do."

Lukas looked up at him with admiration in his eyes. "You would do that?"

"Lukas Bondevik, when I told you I loved you, I meant it," Mathias told him. "Even if we can't be married, I'll still love you and do anything for you. We'll think of your little brother as our kid. Just imagine it, Lukas, us raising a little boy together."

The Norwegian man smiled. "That sounds pretty wonderful," he mused. "You've got yourself a deal, Mathias."

Mathias smiled. "Then it's settled. You're stuck with me after the war."

"But you know what?" Lukas said. "I don't think I'll mind that at all."

.

 _The End._


	11. Epilogue

_Late Fall, 1953, London, England_

Lukas rode in the car in silence with Emil for a very long time before finally speaking. "Emil, do you mind telling me exactly what happened?" h asked, glancing over at his younger brother. "The headmaster was too furious to tell me anything other than the face that you were expelled and that I was to pick you up immediately."

Emil's gaze remained out the window. "What Leon and I did wasn't wrong," he angrily stated. "We shouldn't have been expelled _or_ banned from ever joining the military!" He turned to Lukas, rage apparent on his face. "How the fuck were you and Mathias able to be in the military?"

"So how far were you when you got caught?" Lukas asked, getting the hint.

The younger brother crossed his arms over his chest in a huff. "We got caught having sex last night," he admitted, cheeks bright red. "But I don't care what you think of Leon, Lukas. I love him."

"Then if you love him, there isn't a single issue at all," Lukas stated. "Describe this love to me, Em."

Emil blinked in surprise. "I have never felt this way about anyone but Leon. He's beautiful, and his voice calms me and makes me feel like everything's going to be okay. When he kisses me, my heart beats madly in my chest and feels as if it rises into my throat. His touches send shocks through my body. And when we make love, I know he is the only one for me."

Lukas smiled. "That sounds like me and Mathias, even after ten years together. Just make sure you and Leon never lose that magic between you two." He sighed out. "The magic of true love is truly an amazing thing."

"I know," Emil softly said. "Tino and Berwald used to tell me that when I was a kid." He turned his face back to the window and smiled. "How are they doing anyway?"

"Still waiting to get married," Lukas sighed, "just like Mat and I. They've been asking about you a lot. Just wait until they find out about this. Tino will be so mad."

"At me?" Emil asked.

Lukas glanced over at Emil, giving him an incredulous look. "Answer one question for me. When the fuck has Tino ever been mad at you?"

Emil smiled. "You have a point."

"The only person mad at you is that ignorant headmaster," Lukas told him with a smirk.

"I'm worried about Leon," Emil admitted, smile fading. "How would his dad understand this? I know his dad seemed to understand, but what if it was just a show?"

"It wasn't," Lukas assured. "His father is like us. I met his lover during the war. Al was a nice fellow, though he was quite loud." He smiled fondly. "I wonder if they're still together."

"Leon mentioned a bloke named Alfred who lives with them," Emil provided.

"That's him," Lukas said with a slight chuckle. "Alfred F. Jones." He shook his head. "It's been so long…" His eyes glanced over at his younger brother. "But Alfred is to Leon what Mathias is to you."

Emil nodded. "So there are more families like ours," he mused, smiling to himself. "It makes me feel better to know that, and to know that I fell in love with someone from one." His smile and blush could hardly fit on his face. "I honestly never thought I could fall in love like this. I swore I'd never fall in love, but here I am, in love with my roommate from boarding school."

"Being in love is wonderful, isn't it?" Lukas asked him. "To be honest, I never thought I'd fall in love either, especially with someone like Mathias."

"But you two compliment each other well," Emil said. "Anyone in their right mind can see that."

"We do," Lukas agreed, nodding. "I don't know where I'd be without my noisy Dane." He smiled to himself as he drove the rest of the way home.

.

Later that night, after Emil went to bed, Mathias began to tinker with the small radio in the living room. Lukas walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his middle, resting his head on his shoulder. Mathias smiled and began to tune the radio, keeping the volume low so he wouldn't wake Emil.

"You're still up?" Mathias asked, fondly leaning his head on his lover's. "I figured you'd be in bed by now, Luke."

Lukas yawned. "Not yet," he said, "but soon." He swatted at Mathias's hands as a familiar tune began to play. "Stop! Stop!" he hissed. "Listen!"

A familiar tune rang from the speakers.

" _Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?_

 _And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?_

 _Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?_ "

Mathias turned to Lukas. "May I have this dance?"

Lukas blushed but quickly accepted. "Of course you may."

Mathias led Lukas around the room, dipping him low and twirling him at times. He brought him close when the song ended. "I love you," he whispered to his love.

"I love you too," Lukas whispered back before kissing him deeply, losing himself in the man he loved. He would always get lost in Mathias when kissing him like this. Mathias was too perfect of a man not to.

Mathias wrapped his arms around Lukas's waist and carried him to their bedroom. He laid Lukas down on their bed as he began to kiss a little more roughly, trying to indicate what he wanted.

Lukas picked up on it quickly as he stripped down to his boxers, Mathais following the act. He wrapped his legs around Mathias's waist as they kissed. "I love you," he kept saying between kisses.

The two were usually too busy to have intimate moments like this, so both of them felt that this was very special and shouldn't be wasted. After all, it had been two months since the last time both of them had been in a mood like this at the same time and therefore had been intimate. They were both extremely excited.

Mathias plucked at the top of Lukas's boxers, indicating that he wanted them to come off. He smiled as his desire was fulfilled and Lukas took them off. His eyes widened when he saw how aroused Lukas was. Mathias smirked at him and wrapped a hand around his love's member.

Lukas moaned out, forgetting that Emil was asleep. It had been so long since Mathias had touched him like that, he just couldn't help himself at all. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking in all of the pleasure that he could, placing his hands on Mathias's shoulders and squeezing happily.

Mathias then put a finger inside their jar of cold cream and then slid it inside of Lukas. He felt Lukas tense up a little, but heard him moan at the same time. That made Mathias feel like he was doing something more good than bad for Lukas, even though the first time going in after awhile always made Lukas have that reaction.

He waited for Lukas to nearly bounce on his finger before adding another one. Lukas's moans were like music to his ears. He hadn't been this intimate with Lukas in so long that he could feel himself growing more and more aroused by the moment.

"I'm ready," Lukas moaned out. "I want you inside of me, Mathias." He was trembling with anticipation. "I'm ready, Mathias!"

Mathias didn't have to be told twice as he eased himself inside of his lover, moaning from the amazing euphoria he felt being inside of Lukas. There was nothing like the feeling of making love to someone whom you loved so much. He wanted nothing more than to just make love to Lukas all night long.

Lukas would want nothing more than that was well as he threw his head back in pleasure. He wanted more times like this with Mathias, if only they weren't so busy all the time. It would just be wonderful if they could make love like that more often.

When they were done, Lukas snuggled up to Mathias and rubbed his chest. "I love you," he muttered sleepily. "We need to do things like this more often."

"We do," Mathias agreed with a yawn. "I feel so amazing right now. It feels as if I'm complete after becoming one with you." He smiled to Lukas and kissed his forehead. "What can I say? You complete me, Lukas."

"You complete me, too," Lukas said, smiling. He snuggled closer to Mathias. "Please stay by my side forever."

"Good luck getting rid of me," Mathias told him, smiling.

Lukas smiled softly and closed his eyes, listening to Mathias's heartbeat to calm him down and lull him to sleep. "I'd never want to get rid of you," he softly said. "When someone completes another person, they make the person whole. Why would I no longer want to be whole?"

"I was thinking the same thing," Mathias sighed. He kissed the top of Lukas's head. "Goodnight, Lukas. I love you."

"I love you too," Lukas softly told him. "You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, Mathias. And I am grateful to have you in my life."

.

The next morning, Emil was up before them. He had made toast for everyone and was in the process of making pancakes when Lukas walked into the kitchen. Even Lukas was impressed with what Emil had made.

"Wow, Emil," Lukas commented, smiling. "What's the occasion?"

"I heard you two last night, you know," Emil said, turning to Lukas. He smirked at his brother. "And I'm happy for you two that you're so in love, but could you please not be so loud about it?"

Lukas's face turned a deep crimson as Mathias walked in. "You heard us?" Lukas asked his brother. "What do you mean by that?"

"You two had sex last night, didn't you?" Emil asked, watching Mathias's face grow a deep red as well. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. Leon and I used to do that almost every night."

"That's more information than I needed to know," Lukas stated, putting his hands up. "I don't need to know how much sex my baby brother is having." He sighed and sat at the table. "So why the feast, Emil?"

"I figured I would make it to thank you for still allowing me to see Leon outside of school," Emil said with a shrug. "I would hate it if I couldn't see him anymore."

Lukas shrugged. "It would be like if I had to stop seeing Mathias. I understand what it's like to be in love. It's okay to fall in love, Emil, but only if that person is worthy of your love."

"So you deemed me worthy, huh?" Mathias asked.

"Shut up," Lukas grumbled, elbowing Mathias in the ribs as he walked up behind him. "And sit down. It's time to eat breakfast."

Mathias chuckled and sat down across from Lukas, gazing at him across the table the way a newlywed man would gaze at his spouse after a long day at work. He was so in love with Lukas that he couldn't even think of words to describe how in love he was.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lukas asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Like what?" Mathias asked as Emil set their plates in front of them. "I'm not looking at you any differently than I normally do."

"Right," Lukas sarcastically said, taking the butter and slathering it on his pancakes and toast.

"Would you like some food with your butter?" Mathias asked him.

Lukas glared up at him and pushed the butter over at him. "Here, have some. It adds flavor."

Mathias laughed. "I didn't mean to piss you off," he said, taking the butter. He began to butter his toast and pancakes with the minimal amount. "It's just that you cake a lot of things with butter."

"I like butter," Lukas mumbled.

"Yeah, I can tell," Mathias stated, grinning.

"Shut up," Lukas grumbled once more. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I obviously don't," Mathias stated as he got the syrup and began to drizzle it on his pancakes. "So I'll just shut up and eat." He passed the syrup across the table to Lukas.

Emil just smiled to himself. He had missed mornings like these. This was a typical morning for them, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

.

 _25 Years Later_

Lukas sat back at his desk and looked down at the letter he had finished writing. He smiled at it, satisfied. He had been pen pals with Roderich and Elizaveta for years after they had taken care of him, but he hadn't written to them in over a year.

He knew that they now had six children: Leopold, Monica, Maria, Wolfgang, Maggie, and Antoinette. There was also the fact that Gilbert was somehow involved in their marriage after Leopold was born. He was a third member in their marriage and lived with them, or so Elizaveta and Roderich had been telling him. It made Lukas wondered if Gilbert was the father of any of those children. But as Lukas saw it, it was none of his business.

The letter had just been finished and Lukas looked over it for any spelling or grammatical errors. He was very picky about his letters that he sent to his friends. After all, he knew that Roderich was pickier than he was.

Mathias suddenly appeared behind him. "You writing to Gilbert's lovers?" he asked.

Lukas jumped a little, startled. "Yes," he slowly said. He had forgotten that Mathias knew Gilbert from the old war days. "Did you want to write to Gilbert?"

"Nah," Mathias said, shaking his head. "I'm pretty sure he knows how happy I am now that I have you. Gilbert was a great friend to me."

Lukas smiled and tilted his head up for a kiss. "I'm happy to have you as well," he softly said. "Now kiss me, you idiot."

Mathias grinned. "With pleasure, my love." He leaned down and met lips with Lukas.

As soon as their lips touched, they felt young again. They no longer felt as if they were 58 and 60. The kiss sent them back to when they first met, back to when they were 23 and 25. Lukas felt as if he were that young, nervous fighter pilot once more. Mathias felt like that young soldier once more, the one who was desperately in love with a young fighter pilot.

When their kiss was over, they both looked into each other's eyes. Lukas saw the brave, young soldier Mathias once used to be. Mathias saw the beautiful man that Lukas had always been to him. Both of them saw the man that they had fallen in love with, and the man they had both turned into. And neither of them regretted spending their lives with each other.

"I need to get this letter in the post," Lukas said, coming out of his daze.

"Luke, there's no post on Sundays," Mathias reminded, smiling. "You can mail it tomorrow."

Lukas nodded. "Right." He then opened his desk drawer and got out the cross-shaped hairpin that he once wore in his hair when it was blond and not a graying white. "I need to put this in the envelope as well."

"Why is that?" Mathias asked him, curious as to why Lukas would get rid of a precious family heirloom such as that.

"Because since my brother and I are both gay, we could never have children to pass it down to," Lukas explained. "But surely Elizaveta and Roderich's children could pass it down at some point."

Mathias smiled. "You're wonderful, Lukas."

"I try to be," Lukas answered, smiling up at Mathias. "It's just that some people just don't notice."

"Well, I always do," Mathias said. He peeked over Lukas's shoulder. "What did you write about anyway?"

Lukas put the letter out of his line of vision. "No reading this, it's personal," he scolded. He frowned at Mathias. "I don't read the letters you send to people, do I?"

"No," Mathias slowly answered. "But I only send letters to family."

"Roderich and Elizaveta are like family to me," Lukas explained. "They could have killed me at any time. They could have given me up to the Germans, but they saved me. They risked everything for me. I think they earned a spot in my heart as family."

Mathias smiled. "You're so sentimental and cute," he admirably said. "I love it."

"Oh, shut up," Lukas grumbled. He sulked a little, embarrassed that Mathias would still call him cute even after 35 years together. Was there a way that he could still be cute after that long?

"I'm not taking it back," Mathias told him, grinning like a madman. "I love you."

Lukas felt a small smile cross his face. "I love you too," he softly said to Mathias. "From now until forever, Mathias Køhler."

Mathias smiled. "From now until forever, Lukas Bondevik."

Then their lips met again.

.

 _Two Weeks Later, Small Austrian Town_

Monica Edelstein-Beilschmidt looked down at the envelope in her hand. It was addressed to her parents, but it came to her house. It felt heavier than most envelopes that came in the mail for them normally. She was desperate to open it, but she took it to her mother.

"Mother, there is a letter for you and Father," she said, entering her parents' home next door and handing the envelope over. "It's from a man named Lukas Bondevik, but it came to my house."

Elizaveta Edelstein looked down at the envelope in awe. "So he never forgot us," she softly said to herself. "I'm so glad to hear that…" She then turned toward the inner parts of the house. "Roderich, come here!"

Roderich hurried into the room as fast as his arthritis-ridden legs could bring him. "What is it, Elizaveta?" he asked her. He eyed the envelope in her hand. "What's that?"

"It's a letter from Lukas," she softly said. "He never forgot us."

Roderich smiled. "Open it, darling. Let's see what he has to say."

Elizaveta opened the envelope and the hairpin is what came out first. "What? His hairpin? But this is a family heirloom. Why would he give this to us?" She got out the letter. "Surely he will explain it to us."

 _Dear Friends of Mine,_

 _I am sorry that it took so long. My arthritis has spread to my hands, so it is more painful to hold a pen than it used to be. I hope you are well. Isn't it odd to think that time has passed so quickly._

 _My letter concerns something that would have one day been left in my will, but I believe that it would suit one of your sons or daughters better. You see, I cannot pass my hairpin down to any of my children for I do not have any, and my brother cannot have it for he is like me in that aspect. So I would like to pass it down to one of your lovely children._

 _Please take good care of it and let them know how important it is. I hope you never forget me, as I have never forgotten you._

 _Love,_

 _Lukas Bondevik_

Elizaveta smiled as she finished reading the letter aloud. "His wishes will be fulfilled," she softly said. "What a lovely man he truly is."

Roderich smiled. "What a wonderful man indeed."


End file.
